"Why does it hurt so much?" Ruminations on the 2014 Outing

honk - homesickalien

The 6th Annual SSS Outing was jolly good times, and simultaneously set a new standard for mild-mannered meth-ups. This was by far our tamest event yet. People behaving. Gentlemen and ladies hydrating whilst responsibly drinking adult beverages. A mere few and controlled, non-threatening appearances by Belly. Someone even brought sunblock to share! Such harmony - and it only took us six years and one injury to get here.

Tough to tell who's to blame for classing up the joint. My vote is split between Chiburb and 3E8, whose combined tenure on the site and overall crazystupid smarts brought serious cred to the crew of 2014 newbies. Others observing their first meth-up were fustercluck, mikecws91, evenyoudorn, Kyle321N, and SSIrish. Congrats on your first collective taint punch.

The Sox simply shat in every corner of the field during the game, there is no escaping the final score, and sadly our second methup loss to date (after four straight wins!). We even had to witness a run get taken away! Talk about brutal.
But Paulie seemed to have something to prove, and saved us from a blowout shutout, so I think everyone needs to shut up about him being less useful than a bucket of gumballs. At least for a minute.

Speaking of old dudes bringing it! How ‘bout that winningugly, who not only stuck it out through the nine painful innings, but also soldiered on into the evening at Cork & Kerry! And completely managed to avoid injury despite antiquities! Proud of you, wu. Thanks for making the trip, as is tradition.

Between wu and Jack M, I had a couple of my biggest laughs of the night. First, when someone randomly inquired about the results of the epic - and tragic - foot battle featuring six-time methup veterans Tdogg vs. Trooper, wu said, "well...the loser is walking!"
And when I suggested to Jack that we may never see Tdogg again, he replied, "Think it's time to put him out to pasture?"

Let's face it though. Nothing could possibly top the aforementioned foot race, and ensuing drama that was our very first methup injury! It had to happen eventually, right? A real bummer nonetheless, that our little sign which previously read "1850 DAYS METHUP INJURY FREE" now reads a pathetic "TWO".

And I am so, SO sorry to Tdogg for the extreme pain felt that day. I have done the same thing sprinting to first base and I know it sucks and takes literally forever to heal. But forgive us for finding this outright mindblowingly fucking hilarious. You will likely never not hear about this. There's just no way we are mature enough to curb it. Godspeed.

Now, allow me to provide a visual recap of events.


Note in the first frame how Troop and Tdogg (in lime green ensemble) stop traffic for the main event. They tried to wave on the guy, but he was down to chill and see the show, regardless of how the person in the car immediately behind him felt about the whole thing. He even volunteered his horn to be the starting gun! Which Tdogg and Trooper both profusely and awkwardly ignored upon sounding.

In the third and fourth frames, you see Troop stumble in recovery from his extreme forward momentum. Tdogg quickly emerged here as the favorite - the black-sock/brown-shoe-in, if you will. Not pictured: cash money exploding into the air and cigars being passed around. But WAIT, what's this! Trooper gets his legs under him in a truly impressive display of homosapienism, around the same time that Tdogg's life begins to crumble next to a maroon four-door sedan (not pictured).

Even as I type this now, I am seriously in tears recalling the whole thing. Tdogg, your quad and pride is a minor sacrifice for the net amount of laughter that has come and will continue to come from this moment in time. I think and hope you appreciate the comedy. Your kids will be juust fiiiiine.

Meanwhile, one of (absent yet again) Nordhagen's Coop Dark stickers found a new home after a pit stop on Trooper's belly button (also not pictured, you're welcome). I'm hoping to see this one going strong come next year's outing, it seems like the proper neighborhood to let him reign.


One more toast to all who attended and contributed to the fun, oldies but goodies, and newbies alike. Major cheers to our shady section and one o'clock start, protecting many of us from a potentially shitty Father's Day Sunday! Special thanks to my own dad for making it to the methup this year on Father/Daughter Day. Meant a lot to have him around and obviously I wouldn't be here, nor love the game so much, if not for that guy. Overall, I hope everyone enjoyed the day as much as I did and had a wonderful Sunday too.

And to you wishy-washy mothas who skipped this year because of lame excuses like dew point (not to name names, but the weather was perfect, a-hole), and conflicting fewer-important sausagefests (the gingers needed you, bro), you are wrong and should be ashamed, if not punished!

See everyone next year for Round 7!

Let's hear the stories and see them pictures in the comments. Please keep it respectful and please don't post pictures of those who didn't wish to be photographed.

the whole group - shy of moroots, who arrived late and dove into the photo to a slew of welcoming politically-charged outbursts #packofaholes

eight men out --> the perfect attendance crew


the usual gingers, give or take a couple


The Formidable Final Six (including me, not pictured)

you can count on your SSS brothers to carry you home...

a tender moment for all, Kenwo lends a hand to his fallen brother

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