Pierre on his 0-for-4 showing:"I basically just put on my uniform today. I didn’t move the ball well or nothing."

Ozzie Guillen has plenty of at-bats for guys not named Jim Thome: "One thing I'm going to ask my players in my meeting is to be patient," Guillen said. "I know everyone wants to be in the lineup, especially on Opening Day. Be patient. Don't feel left out. I'm the type of guy who likes to play guys a lot, especially the bench. I've done that the past few years. They're going to get their at-bats.

Paul Konerko on distractions in the White Sox clubhouse: "As a rule of thumb, twice a month something is going to come up,'' team captain Paul Konerko said Monday, when asked about possible distractions that have come in the wake of "TwitterGate.'' "Sometimes it's back-to-back in a week, sometimes every other week, but if you're a White Sox player you just kind of prepare that it's not boring around here and things kind of pop up. That's just the way it is. There's always some controversies that pop up here that are a little different than most teams, but that's the way we roll here.''

"Doesn't your paper ask you to blog these days?" I ask one writer who seems particularly disgusted with my presence.

"You bet your ass they do," he hisses in reply. "But if it weren't for jokers like you, they'd still appreciate my filing three stories per week, instead of asking me to write a blog three times a day."

This isn't to say that everyone I meet is this way, but more than enough are that I understand why new media continues to grow and thrive as it is. The gatekeeper status previously enjoyed by established media made sports journalism an enjoyable, privileged position; and now, any old schmuck with a computer and Internet connection can do the job. Unsurprisingly, many do it better, and equally unsurprising, among the old guard the change breeds resentment.

"Really?" I ask, prodding for explanation. "Because my only regret is that I can't explore sports with as much depth as I could if I just had enough time to write about everything I want to write about."

"And that's the trouble with you young people," is his reply.

And that pretty much says it all.

"If we sign somebody, and we've said this all wintertime, we don't want them to just DH."

So what did we learn today with this obnoxiously long article? Well I took a pitcher's 10 best and worst starts of the year, in which you'll remember there was an ERA difference of about 8, and found no meaningful differences in terms of what he threw, the velocity/movement of his pitches, where he threw them and when he threw them. I think I've established that there was practically no difference in how he pitched in his good starts compared to his bad starts.

Does this show that all peaks and valleys of performance over a long season are simply due to luck? Of course not. Burnett is only one pitcher. However, I believe that this is a strong piece of evidence to support that notion to some extent. I hope someone smarter than me will develop a way to quantify the expected production of a pitcher using PITCHf/x data. Then we could apply it to the population to see if the phenomenon I found today holds true for most pitchers.

Will Carroll on Twitter:

"Any injured pitcher should consider White Sox, Cards, Rangers, Brewers -- med staffs and pitching coaches give them better chance."

I met Gordon Beckham in downtown Athens tonight. I was kinda awkward being that I was meeting my sports crush, but he was really nice. My life is complete now.

p.s. the boy can dance.

If the Sox want to add competition, ... consider a member of their 2005 World Series ... team....Neal Cotts...

"I've heard the rumors," Beckham said... "I kind of hope I don't lead off. I've never lead off before."