I figured maybe some corporations could turn failure on the field into aid for those in need by sponsoring the less-than-stellar events we've come to know and despise. Here are a few examples in order of frequency:
$5: "...and Uribe strikes out tomahawk swinging. And as you know, with every high fastball Juan swings at, Lenscrafters will donate $5 to White Sox charities. The next time you're thinking about eye-high fashion, think Lenscrafters."
$10: "...the throw to first, and that's it for the Sox. No runs, ho hits, no errors, and with every 1-2-3 inning, Sylvan Learning Centers will donate $10 to White Sox charities."
$20: "...that's ball four, and the fans aren't happy about that. I'll tell ya who's happy -- the fine folks at White Sox Charities thanks to Southwest Airlines, who will donate $20 for that late-inning walk. Southwest Airlines offers more nonstop flights from Midway to Charlotte, Birmingham and dozens of other U.S. destinations."
$50: "...BA's down swinging on a low-and-away slider for strike three, and with that swing, Jared Galleria of Jewelry will donate $50 to White Sox charities. Jared reminds you that if you're thinking about going down on one knee for someone in your life, Jared offers the widest selection of rings..."
$100: "...and this ballgame is over. A fine pitching performance by Javier Vazquez wasted, and with every outstanding effort that goes for naught, U-Haul will donate $100 to White Sox charities. If you're packing up on short notice, U-Haul has a variety of options..."