Hawkisms

Last week, Mac, Jurko, and Harry were discussing a website they had recently come across. The name of the website? HeaveTheHawk.com -- This is what happens when you get a collection of disgruntled fans with nothing better to do.

I'm not a HUGE fan of Hawk, but he is White Sox baseball. His sayings and phrases, or hawkisms, have become ingrained in White Sox fans' lexicon. Since it's an off-day, and there's not much to write about, here's a list of some Hawkisms, stolen from the site, along with my impression of each one.

• He gone -- A Classic. The one-eyed Hawk was a little slow on this one earlier in the year. He's still not in peak form yet, but they say that baseball is a marathon not a sprint.
  
• Gaaaas -- Best if coupled with the Hawkism above.
  
• Duck snort -- One of my least favorite hawkisms, as it's most often used to inaccurately describe an opponents hit.
  
• Grab some bench -- I haven't heard this one too much this season. I only like it for certain players. Right now that list is headed by Dmitri Young. How's that race between you and the Indians going, Dmitri?
  
• Chopper, two hopper -- Sometimes it's a three-hopper. Definition of a routine play.
  
• That's a hang whoopem -- I believe the actual phrase is hang wiffem, a variation on Hang with'em. Which I think means hang in there.
  
• Cinch it up and hunker down -- I have no clue what this means. I do know that DJ started saying it last season, and the pitches that immediately followed were either Sox strikeouts or weak grounders. DJ + Hawkism = Jinx.
  
• Sit back, relax, and strap it down -- I don't know what it means, but the games about to start, I gotta hit the pisser before the first pitch.
  
• I Luuuuuuuv (insert stupid item here) -- Best if teamed with the word "e-mail." Why? Do you really think hawk knows how to use e-mail?
  
• You can cancel the post game show -- Lets you know that a certain something, who's utterance is during a baseball game is a faux pas, has been broken up. Much better than saying "There goes the no-hitter."
  
• We got a whooole lotta work to do -- I gotta be honest, have we even heard this one yet this year? We've been right there in every game. (OK, I wrote this on Sunday night. We've heard it a lot the last few days)
  
• Dadgum right -- You better believe it.
  
• He needs to bow his neck -- I think Timo needs to bow his neck a lot. Really, I don't know what this means.
  
• Right size, wrong shape -- One of the few Hawkisms that I truly dislike. It's a strike. Sure sometimes there's one thats just foul, but you don't need to tell us that the ball that just landed in row 17 of section 147 was just the wrong shape. It's called a foul ball.
  
• He just missed that one -- See the above. I hate this one. Any Sox foul ball back to the screen was just missed. By my calculations if they just just missed it, wouldn't be popped up. Fouling it back to the screen is a whole degree further away from "just getting it."
  
• Rack `em up -- Routine double play.
  
• Stay fair -- One of the most memorable plays in all of baseball was Carlton Fisk willing a ball fair in game 6 of the 1976 World Series.
  
• Get foul -- This is typically followed by one of two other Hawkisms; 'it will' or the the one Hawkism that has been completely left off the list, dead air.
  
• Ball 4 base hit -- You'd think Hawk's favorite player, Timo Perez, would be good at least one of these. Sadly he's not.
  
• Should be...it is -- Routine double play.
  
• Mercy! -- This one often comes out when Hawk gets his ire up. Normally directed at the umpires, who are at fault for everything.
  
• STRETCH -- I've always yelled "get up," which I believe is the Cardinals' announcers catch phrase.
  
• Can-o-corn -- Routine fly ball.
  
• Watch out -- Fast moving Bat/Ball into foul territory.
  
• He got a cookie there D.J. -- This one is occasionally very grating. When used to describe a pitch that Joe Crede, or a funkified Konerko can't hit, it's infuriating. No Hawk, They're just bad. They can't hit easy pitches. Most of the time it rings true though.
  
• Way back, he looks up, you can put it on the board....YES! -- Simply put, the BEST homerun call in all of baseball. If you don't like it, you're just not a White Sox fan. (Unless you prefer "It's a goner")

Hawk's recent health issues made me appreciate him all the more. I wasn't a huge fan, what with his "you can do anything you want if you've got three 20-game winners" rants. However, I've come to appreciate the good with the bad, and embrace him as one of the most recognized voices in all of baseball.

What are your feelings on the Hawk?