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Ozzie Guillen wins a Gold Glove

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Joe Cowley is handing out his "Scowleys." Jon Garland must have done something to Cowley:

SOX GOLD GLOVE: Ozzie Guillen. What does that say about their defense this year when their best glove was sitting on the bench, 43 years old and the manager? So, Jon Garland, stop petitioning, it's not you.
So, no award for Garland?
MOST LIKELY TO BE TRADED: Garland. Even Jeff Spicoli eventually had to graduate from Ridgemont High. "Aloha, Mr.Hand." ... "Aloha, Garland."
*****
Ozzie on the Torpedo Boat:
"Believe me, there's nothing out there that's better than Uribe. Believe me, it is not there. But he drives me crazy. I'll be honest with you: Uribe can drive everyone crazy. All of a sudden, the season is over, you look up and 20 home runs and 70 RBI. As the manager, you say, 'How the hell did he do that?' To be honest with you, I don't see any shortstop better out there than Uribe. Maybe equal to him on the field, throwing and catching the ball. But I wish Uribe at least once would find out how good he is, how dangerous he can be. ... If someone is a friend of Uribe's, tell him to lose some weight because he's going to be back to a utility player pretty soon. I'm just trying to be honest and be a friend for him. When you're young and you're good, you can show up here weighing 350 pounds and play shortstop. But when you have the kind of years like that and we're a losing team, you can give someone else some excuse. In 2004, he was a backup of Jose Valentin, a backup of [Joe] Crede, a backup of Willie Harris. I liked him so much, the way he was playing, the White Sox gave him a three-year deal because of the way he plays. Then he should appreciate that. I'm just being honest with him."
*****
And here's the latest Palehose 7 strip: Fan Appreciation Weekend.