Christmas Comes Early to a Sox Fan Deep within the Cell- a photo-enhanced essay.

So, I have been wanting to attend the Holiday Event at US Cellular for several years, but finally bundled the wife and niece up for a combo christmas trip to the Celmisky and the Chrstkindle market at Daley Plaza this frosty Sunday. With Christmas carols ringing in our heads, we braved the frozen tundra and headed towards Mecca:5235969238_3e355736bd_medium


To read about the exploits, bargains and observations of the Good Doctor, Frau and neice, deep under the mantled crust of US Cellular, read on after the Jump.

Observation 1- Parking on a non gameday is cheap! Seriously, free parking and a 5 dollar entry free, good towards 5$ off your purchase, proceeds to WS Charities. However, the Landscaping in December leaves something to be desired... Bossard- you are slacking!


Observation # 2: The passages to the actual clubhouse are, well... Uncromulent. Nothing says Swagger like white cinderblock...



But, then things started to turn around: I entered the visitors dugout...


Despite the prolificly feathered hair of many 80's throwback female sox fans, the crowd was pleasant, not a vast crush of people, and everyone was equally enthused to be attending. All the game used material and old marketing trash and trinkets were in the visitor clubhouse, which was about 1/2 the size of the home team, naturally.

Observation #3: Game used stuff is a mixed bag of treasures and trash:


You will note many broken bats- for 50 dollars you can own a shattered bat from the hands of the Gentleman Masher whose tater-inducing swing was too much for mere maple or ash.

Observation # 5: Bobby Jenks is a pig. Just look at that hat in the middle of the table! I mean, my god, that is revolting! I did pick up a mint Brian Anderson game used hat for 25 bucks. I always had the best wishes for that kid, and still wish him the best. I imagine he was wearing it when he made one of his game saving catches in CF.


Observation #6- Nancy Faust is the BEST!!


Observation #7: There is an awful lot of really cheap Linestank stuff... go figure!


Contrast that 60 dollar jersey to the $500 dollar Dye Jersey...


Observation # 8: Kids love Southpaw, even if he is a douchenozzle. Bastard Mascot dissed me- I owe him a bitchslap when i see him again... Next time, southpaw, next time!

Moving on to the Home Clubhouse- the holy of holies, Mecca, the heart of the teamspace...



I took this one just for Kenwo- Love ya buddy!


Our boys know how to loaf prepare for a game in style! Sadly, these chairs were not for sale.5235377737_dc98311175_medium

Observation # 9: Bobby Jenks is not as well loved as he once was, as evidenced by the amount of unsold Jenks goods, especially in comparison to Jackson, his neighbor.


Look at the stylish hat they put in Jackson's locker! Not worth the money, but I thought it seemed very Jackson-ish...


I also picked up some sweet media posters that I will be using as prizes for various hot stove games and contests I am planning for the offseason- here is my total swag from the trip.


Finally, if you are looking for a fun excursion this holiday season, get down to the Picasso in the Daley center- the german Christkindle market (y'know as in Christ child? Thanks for the spelling lesson Colin!) is going on every weekend till Xmas and you can get a brat and a warm hat, and make the wife feel all christmas like... Bavarian Gingerbread and Rainbow Pride ornaments for everyone!

Sidenote: delicately explaining to your 8 year old neice why she might not want to get an aforementioned rainbow pride ornament is VERY entertaining...

Me: "Well, hon, there is a group of people who are colorful and flamboyant who use that flag as their symbol to identify themselves."

Her: "But I like colorful flamboyant things, Uncle Lizardo. Maybe I am one!"

Wife, with withering stare at me: "Maybe hon, but there is more involved. Lets let YOUR parents explain more, RIGHT, Dr. El?"


So, if you get the chance to attend next year, it is well worth the 5 bucks. Merry Christmas, (and Happy Harmonica, TAEG!)

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