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SSS Mailbag

West coast start time means it's that time again.  Let's get right into the questions.

I've got a spreadsheet where I project wins out to the end of the season. I use runs scored vs. runs allowed, comparing them between the teams. If a team has 10% more runs than a competing team, I project that they'll win 10% more games between them. So if the Sox are really somewhere between the futility of April and May and the awesomeness of June and July, this spreadsheet will be spot on. As of this second, I've got the Sox at 90 wins, Detroit at 88, and the Twinkies at 86. I've been doing this spreadsheet for over five years now, and it gets the final number of wins within a game or two, usually. -- Eric Krieg; Munster, Ind.

Eric, I'd suggest getting out of your mother's basement and getting laid.  Youngsters often think it's difficult to get laid and instead spend five years working on simple spreadsheets.  However, the opposite sex isn't as smart as some people would like you to think.  Men have developed innumerable tactics to pass on their genes.  One favorite of mine is to tell a woman that my name is Philip Schuber and that I play for the White Sox. 

How many more games will Jenks blow for the Sox until they get rid of him? -- Larry Oller; Lowell, Ind.


This loss Sunday will destroy the Sox's confidence for the remainder of the season, I know what Minnesota can put in their heads, The Sox will not even be close to winning the division this year! Do you agree? -- Doug; Hilton Head Island.

You know what Minnesota puts in my head, Dougles? Cheese curds.  On a friggin' stick.  Ever been to the Minnesota State Fair? They put anything on a stick and fry it. Twinkies? Sure. Snickers bar? Why the hell not. Tiramisu? You aristocrats get anything you want. Oreos? Not sure - ask Tdogg.

I was wanting to know if a Philip Schuber plays for the White Sox. I met him a few weeks ago and that is what he told me but I couldn't find him on the MLB website. -- Rebecca; Douglasville, GA.

See, Eric?