35 Thoughts on the Season

So I’ve been thinking…

Juan Pierre’s mustache did a nice a job of disguising the fact that he is terrible.

…In hindsight, we probably should have cared more when Bartolo Colon went missing.

Sergio Santos is not our closer. ;) Shhhhh….

…We have the best defensive infield in the league. The sick hands of Jeff Cox included.

…Unofficially, Adam Dunn is the only player on the team who doesn’t wear any extra body armor while batting. Canyonero’s don’t use protection.

…How long until Lillibridge starts at second? Or left?

…It’s amazing that Thornton was once ultra successful. You’d think somewhere in the scouting report would say all he does is throw fastballs on the outside corner.

…Rios’ swing makes me entirely uncomfortable. Even when he makes good contact it looks like an accident.

…I knew Ohman would be bad but the hopelessness he emits is really something.

…Chuck Garfein is a star. We’re lucky to have him on board. Enjoy him now before Versus destroys his career.

…I’m still most worried about the Twins. Although it is real cute what the Indians are doing.

…Peavy’s arm is the devil on his shoulder. Always nagging. Poor judgement. Nothing but trouble.

…The sacrifice bunt, like the cycle and stealing home, is one of those elusive things that makes for a lot of fun when it happens. Wait a second…

…This 'all in' thing ain’t all it was worked up to be.

…Jesse Crain’s mohawk makes me miss Nick Swisher. Not.

…The difference between a 1-2 and a 2-1 count is night and day. Stop me if you’ve heard that bef

…Chris Sale must have the highest strikeout to walk to BMI ratio in the league.

…It’s okay, John Danks. Because of Charlie Sheen, winning isn’t what it used to be.

…Is it me, or has Kenny Williams been awfully quiet. Do we have someone checking on him occasionally?

…If Konerko is not an all-star this year, I might lose faith in democracy.

…No one strikes out quite like Adam Dunn. It looks so effortless.

…Don Cooper is just showing off at this point. He made Phil Humber good. I repeat, PHIL HUMBER.

…Hawk interacting with the pitch track is truly hilarious, considering he still doesn’t trust radar guns.

…If CSN producers have any sense of humor, they would force Hawk to use a teleprompter.

…I want a MLB 2K11 swing tracker on Gordon Beckham. Very Late Swing, etc.

…Omar Vizquel is 44. Just let that soak in. Amazing.

…Jokes were a lot easier when Mark Kotsay’s wife was around. I miss her.

…Alexei Ramirez is 29. Which means he is probably 32. I had no idea.

…What’s left to blame Beckham’s struggles on? He’s played the same position for two years now, he’s batting ninth, he has back Your Love… Oh I got it; Greg Walker!

…I’m convinced Mark Teahen and Dallas McPherson are the same person.

…I don’t even read the Tribune and Sun-Times anymore. Jim has rather ironically replaced newspapers for me. At least I think that’s what irony is.

…No way is it Pierzynski’s fault that teams run all over us. That’s preposterous.

…Watching American Idol without Simon Cowell and The Office without Steve Carell makes me fearful of what will become of the White Sox without Ozzie Guillen.

…Just remember, this season isn’t a complete failure until Jeffrey Marquez makes a start. Then we know it’s over.

…Brent Morel is The Most Uninteresting Man in the World. He doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he’ll take whatever you got. Stay average, my friends.

Sox Fan Here!,

Pete Fitzgerald

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