On August 19, 2008, the White Sox sent Clayton Richard -- he of the 9.64 ERA and zero career major-league victories -- to his assumed defeat at the hands of Felix Hernandez.
Of course, we know how that turned out. Richard earned his first "W" in style, throwing six shutout innings as the White Sox offense peppered King Felix for five runs on 11 hits and three walks over five innings. Not only did Chicago cruise to an easy 5-0 victory, but Hernandez failed to record even a single strikeout. He hasn't gone a start without a K since.
There's your blueprint, gentlemen. Have at it.