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2012 White Sox: Fitter Happier

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More productive

Comfortable

Not drinking too much

Regular exercise at the gym (lifting bats in the offseason)

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Getting on better with your associate contemporaries

At ease

Eating well (no more Red Baron pizzas and frozen lobsters)

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A patient better hitter

A safer bet (bonus baby smiling at second)

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Sleeping well (no Mauer nightmares)

No paranoia

Careful with all lineups (never hitting Rios higher than fifth)

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Keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)

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Will frequently check wild card standings (2013 draft order).

90's infielders for managers

Fond but not in love

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No killing rallies or batting Dunn against lefties

Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate

Nothing so childish

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At a better pace

Quicker and more cutters

No chance of escape

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Now self-employed

Concerned (but powerless)

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An empowered and ill-informed member of society (sensationalism not journalism)

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Will not cry in public

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Less chance of injury

Tarps made slippery in the wet (shot of baby sliding over infield)

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A good memory

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Still cries at a good film

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No longer kisses with saliva

White

No longer empty and frantic

Like Alex Rios' OBP

Or Jake Peavy's bulldog mentality

The ability to laugh at weakness

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Calm

Fitter, healthier and more productive

Peavy

On a pitch count

No longer needing antibiotics

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Welcome to the 2012 White Sox.

(Tremendous tip of the hat to the ever amazing Jon Bois for the years old inspiration)