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Some of our players' favorite things

All the freshness of Ireland bottled.
All the freshness of Ireland bottled.

Every summer, the White Sox hold a big charity auction to benefit the Chicago White Sox Charities. The money goes to various causes, such as cancer research, education, and family and child services. It's a good thing and it makes me both happy and proud to cheer for the Sox. The bidding ends at 3 but if you were curious on what you missed out on, here you go.

Without a doubt, my favorite things auctioned off are the baskets supposedly filled by the players' wives and girlfriends. I'm not sure if the ladies actually submit the list or if the players do, but you get some really weird gift baskets put together. Yeah, most if not all have the standard autographed equipment and/or jersey from said player. But then you get to delve deep into the psyche of your favorite athletes.

Orlando Hudson: Wondering why Hudson hasn't been cut yet? It's because they needed to keep him around otherwise his basket would be filled with even more awkwardness than it already is. An iPod shuffle and $30 iTunes gift card? Not bad. Cuff links? Wait...what? One of Hudson's favorite things is cuff links? And a bath robe and Dopp kit? Combine that with the Mentos and the Irish Spring body wash and you now know that Orlando Hudson is the best groomed man in the clubhouse and smells quite pleasant to boot!

Jordan Danks: What would you find in the rookie's basket? Fruity Pebbles and lots of candy. Jordan Danks is a professional athlete that eats like a child. There's Longhorns memorabilia and a White Sox razor. There's a book about a kid dying and coming back to life. Fond of those titanium hoodoo necklaces the pros where? There are three of them and a matching bracelet! Also, booze. Jordan is a Maker's Mark man.

Alex Rios: Alex Rios likes Ayn Rand. Everything makes so much more and so much less sense than ever before. Seriously, he wants to give you a copy of The Fountainhead. You also get some Beats headphones, Call of Duty for the PS3, some giftcards, a fancy polo, and a golf towel. Alex Rios is a complicated man, apparently only understood by his woman.

Jesse Crain: Jesse really seemed to embrace this. His box has 26 things in it and if you don't get that joke, there is no hope for you. Three of those things happen to be "Crain Train" shirts. I'm just as lost as you are. Other strange things? A football, a Lego set, and a hairdryer. A hairdryer. Jesse Crain enjoys owning frivolous things. There is also BBQ sauce and an assortment of weird foodstuffs.

Adam Dunn: Dunn is an unsurprisingly simple man. You get an X-Box 360 (with points), an iPod touch, and Anchorman on DVD. Adam Dunn is every guy you lived next to in the dorms.

Gavin Floyd: Almost as many Christian rock albums as candy products. Two seemingly out of place rap albums, an entire pound of Garrett's popcorn, some giftcards, and a Bose sound system so that you can really feel the word of God penetrating your ear drums.

Jerry Reinsdorf's box is full of things that shames all the other boxes. This is not shocking. He is richer than Midas. The best prize of all? Winning bidder gets the last bench spot on the Bulls next season.

Chris Sale: The Condor's favorite movie appears to be The Blind Side. Maybe he just has a thing for Sandra Bullock? I wouldn't blame him, but am a bit disappointed he doesn't have a better favorite movie. He also loves drawstring backpacks, age-appropriate restaurants (Subway and BWW), candy, and Crown Royal. I like to imagine he also owns a suit made entirely of Crown Royal bags.

Matt Thornton: Easy Heat's is a bit dull. Candy, gift cards, and NCAA Football 2013? Really? The wine cooler bag is a nice touch though. Matt Thornton supports drunks on the go!