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131st Annual South Side Sox Awards

"A tradition like no other"

Morgan Freeman announcing the winner of the bhoov He Did His Research Award.
Morgan Freeman announcing the winner of the bhoov He Did His Research Award.
Ian Walton

Yes, with the passing of 2013 it's time yet again to hand out the annual awards. 2013 was a stunningly successful year for SSS, perhaps one of the best in this site's long and storied history.

It is tradition here, ever since the 45th annual awards back in halcyon days just prior to the Great Depression, to remember those who came before us and have passed on. It is these brave and industrious individuals who built this site into the powerhouse we all enjoy today. I shudder to think where we would be today without their selfless contributions.

The naming of the awards in their memory is, of course, insufficient to adequately repay these pioneers - many of whom were beaten, ostracized and imprisoned for their belief in the White Sox, coherence, logic and having a sound evidential basis for opinions. But I believe that we also honor them every day when we practice their beliefs. Other awards are named after infidels, so that the hoi never forget these villains, their crimes and their inevitable defeats.

Enough with the navel-gazing. On to the awards.

The SSH2005 Most Repetitive Commenter Award Repetitive (presented by Foot Locker) goes to HamiltonBartholomew. He certainly kept us on our toes as he constantly walked us through his transactions and lineups.

The JRE Where's the Press Release? Award goes to Steve_p. Nobody - and I mean nobody - blatantly disregarded JRE's admonishment to not post news until it had been officially announced by the White Sox via a press release on White Sox letterhead in a serif typeface from the White Sox Media Relations Department at 333 W. 35th Street. Nobody.

The WTGTD Heel Turn of the Year Award goes to Ken Neadly. A staunch Tigers supporter for most of 2013, he turned against them in shocking fashion at our "Hell in the Cell" event when Detroit traded Prince Fielder.

The CrossCyed Pinch-Recapper Award (presented by Morrie's Wig Shop) goes to e-gus. When the editors were in a pinch, e-gus was there.

The bhoov He Did His Research Award goes to pnoles. He racked up 11 Fanposts, including "Quintana's Success Becomes More Convincing", and, with rare exceptions, he also brought it in the comments

The ballyb Old Man of the Year Award goes to Chiburb. Direct, spare and cutting - the paragon of the seasoned veteran.

The Foreign SSS Correspondents Non-American Award (presented by Oscar Meyer) goes to JofpGallagher. The Venezuelan-Canadian had a bit of a roller-coaster year but the tools are developing.

The oneloyaldawg Woman of the Year goes to LockportSox. Despite the lack of rice krispie treats, her box couldn't be topped.

The U-God Volume Posting Award (presented by the Manhattan All-Kill Animal Abattoir) goes to Rhubarb. His 6745 comments barely edged out winningugly's 6638 for top prize. craigws was a distant third with 4696.

The Christopher Michaels SSSer of the Year goes to craigws. The classic 6 Tool Poster: volume, versatility, logic, evidence, coherence and humor. craigws rarely takes a day off, is productive in any commenting situation, writes well, supports his writing well and knows and wields humor.

Acceptance speeches of the winners should be posted in the comments below.

Congratulations to all the winners, particularly Jofp who is taking home a year's supply of hot dogs.