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Adam Eaton has spent his first full season in the big leagues learning how to manage his wheels. He'd prefer to go all-out, all the time, but after leg issues caused him to miss some games, he's had to tame his impulses to keep him healthier -- finding a middle gear on routine grounders to the right side, cutting down on dives into first, etc.
The next step in moderation might be a change to his postgame celebration. After every White Sox winner, Eaton maxes out his vertical to meet Alexei Ramirez's high-five. The photo wire is loaded with shots like the one above, and while they showcase his impressive leaping ability, they also raise questions about whether he risks injury trying to reach Ramirez's hand.
One potential response is to merely quash the routine, but I'd rather improve it. Because I'm here to help, I've come up with five alternatives to a standing jump, from least to most appealing.
Option No. 1: Pogo stick
Pros: Cheapest, easiest option.
Cons: Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.
Option No. 2: Giant arcade claw
Pros: Unique and amusing technological marvel.
Cons: Potentially terrifying killing machine.
Option No. 3: Pennyfarthing
(h/t HappyHuman)
Pros: Would cement old-school status.
Cons: Could inadvertently become hipster icon.
Option No. 4: Buffalo
Pros: It's a Guy on a Buffalo.
Cons: Poses problems for Roger Bossard.
Option No. 5: Jetpack
Pros: Sweet.
Cons: None.
