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Reasons to be cheerful, part 2: World Series edition

It’s stress-free World Series, between two teams that are easy to hate on

MLB: ALDS-New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox
Bellybutton Ring-Gate: Seriously? Seriously.
Paul Rutherford-USA TODAY Sports

In which fans of the legitimate Chicago White Sox attempt to take some sort of solace in the face of this slap in the face of a championship series that promises to bring only pain ... but we’ll watch anyway.

  1. No Cubs
  2. No Yankees
  3. Who wins? Who cares? Stress-free viewing!
  4. At least Chris Sale gets to pitch in a World Series, even if we’ll mostly experience mixed emotions about it
  5. Untold amounts of fun to be had during bellybutton ring-gate
  6. Perhaps Sale will get knocked around, and we’ll all feel better about the trade
  7. Perhaps Walker Buehler will get knocked around and we’ll all feel better about drafting Carson Fulmer
  8. Who loses? Who cares? Stress-free viewing!
  9. Hey, at least one of these two teams has to lose, right? Either way: Stress-free viewing!
  10. Further opportunities for Manny Machado to be an ass, and help us feel better about him almost certainty never being a White Sox
  11. Can go to bed early during West Coast games and sleep well due to not really caring about who ultimately wins. Stress-free viewing!
  12. No more having to listen to Ron Darling’s “insightful” commentary or zombie voice
  13. Opportunity to dream wistfully of what-might-have-been had the Brewers left Matt f-ing like a cat Albers on the post-season roster without any real-world consequences
  14. More time to focus attention on our friends and loved ones, because even if we’re watching, we really don’t care, so go ahead and tell all about your day. Really? And then what did you say?
  15. Those who still find Ryan Braun distasteful no longer have to taste him
  16. The emergence of folk hero-everyman Erik Kratz
  17. Folk hero-everyman Erik Kratz now free to pursue role as Toby Flenderson’s brother in an Office reboot
  18. Folk hero-everyman Erik Kratz has evidently pitched in five MLB games over his career, with a career ERA of 3.60 and a bWAR of -0.1
  19. Folk hero-everyman Erik Kratz is no Matt Davidson (career ERA 0.00 and a bWAR of +0.1)
  20. Joakim Soria is officially back on the market, to be signed and flipped
  21. Mookie Betts returns to his 2B roots. Hilarity ensues
  22. Mookie Betts returns to his 2B roots. Less Ian Kinsler to annoy us
  23. Yasiel Puig is genuinely fun to watch playing baseball
  24. Seriously, bellybutton ring-gate, even if it is a joke
  25. White Sox locked into third overall pick in the 2019 MLB draft regardless of WS outcome. Stress-free viewing!