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Fret not, SSS — national voters are even more delusional than we are

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White Sox finish fourth for Machado, in MLBTR’s three-team field

New York Yankees v Baltimore Orioles
Fuzzy Math: Yeah, Manny, we saw MLBTR’s jive-ass poll, too.
Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images

So, listen, real talk here, guys.

When it comes to this offseason’s free agent pursuits — namely, Mssrs. Machado and Harper — we Chicago White Sox fans may be a little biased.

A couple of weeks ago, for instance, SSS ran a poll asking you to predict where Bryce Harper will sign this offseason. Despite Brett running the White Sox as only 12% favorites (third among nine teams), voters were not swayed: 53%, or 493 people (yes, BB, I am jealous of the turnouts you draw) said Harper was coming to the White Sox.

Just a few days ago, it was a rinse and repeat, as SSS asked where Manny Machado would land. With just six teams (and three actuals, the White Sox, New York Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies) to pick from, the jefe broke down and actually named the White Sox as Machado favorites, with a 37% chance of signing him. Not to be swayed, the electorate is polling currently at 53% (513 people, damn you Ballantini) Machado-to-Sox.

My point here is, OK, we might be a little giddy this free agent season. I’m not a glum Gilda under many other circumstances, so perhaps it’s the nervous fan in me who says don’t order your Harper or Machado shirseys yet.

On the other hand, some bold commenters (onlysoxfaninboston, et. al) have zagged away from the collective zig, resorting at times to shocking scatology to drive home the point that the White Sox are closer to signing Manny Ramirez than Manny Machado, Bryce Dallas Howard than Bryce Harper. I must say, given OSFIB’s promise, Methup XI may boast the most interesting pregame tailgate meal ever if Machado indeeds joins Bañuelos among the South Side Mannys.


So, this leads to the crux of the biscuit, MLBTR’s poll — presumably worldwide, but apparently populated with an inordinate number of Bronx Bomber and Philly Phanatic meatheads:

In what amounts to “vote for your favorite team,” the results, uh, fall a bit shy of what we’re seeing at SSS:

Yep, “Mystery Team” — which might I remind you likely never existed and certainly cannot be a favorite (the whole clandestine pitch likely doesn’t wow a 26-year-old getting his ego spoon-fed by three team owners who aren’t hiding in the shadows) — is outpolling the South Siders. Cute.

Can’t wait for the collective bedshi— (dammit, quit scat singing, OSFIB) that will occur when the White Sox unveil Manny, or Bryce.

Or both.

Poll

Where should MLBTR stick its Manny Machado poll?

This poll is closed

  • 15%
    Monument Park in Yankee Stadium, where a Manny Machado plaque will never reside.
    (48 votes)
  • 8%
    In a greasy cheesesteak.
    (27 votes)
  • 30%
    Where the sun don’t shine.
    (95 votes)
  • 6%
    In OSFIB’s Methup XI meal.
    (19 votes)
  • 39%
    Since the Cubs won our "mystery team" poll, in one of Addison Russell’s quarter rolls.
    (124 votes)
313 votes total Vote Now