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Meet the Players: larry

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larry the Legend: A dead horse, of course.
Josh Edelson/AFP/Getty Images

If South Side Sox mainstay larry doesn’t have the site’s longest tenure—joining up in 2005—it has been the most entertaining one. When not Twitterpating (@SouthSidelarry) or patrolling the SSS comments section, larry is our resident prospects guru, working the minor league beat.

And when trouble arises, LaRoches go rogue, and a voice of reason needs be heard, larry will step forward and pen something astute, like what may be the most brilliant SSS post of all time. (If you scroll through some of the 472 comments, you might see how truly enamored I was of his essay.)

Stay tuned to a near future post to see whether larry is happier ranking the likes of Eloy Jimenez and Michael Kopech than Dayan Viciedo and Donny Lucy (hint: probably ... but don’t you slur the Avocado Man!).

Really, all you need to know about this steely rabblerouser, and the offer he can’t refuse from his own, private SSS overlord, can be summed up thusly:

Meet the Players: Quick Hits

Hometown: Chicago

White Sox fan since: Conception

First White Sox memory: Scott Fletcher getting some piece of shit hit over the second baseman

Favorite White Sox memory: 1994 World Series

Favorite White Sox player: Frank Thomas

Next White Sox statue: Mark Buehrle

Next White Sox retired number: 10

Go-to concession food at Sox Park: Dog with

Favorite Baseball Movie: The Untouchables

HALL OF FAME SPEED ROUND

MARK BUEHRLE No

JOE JACKSON No

PAUL KONERKO No

HAROLD BAINES No

MINNIE MIÑOSO Yes

YOAN MONCADA No

CHRIS SALE No

South Side Sox on the field: Manager. Don’t ever fucking bunt.

True or false: Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn’t thinking isn’t thinking of. Natalie Punto