Contrary to this lead art, Mike Gasick (Danks for Nothin) is a fully-formed adult, able to steadfastly stride into losing football locker rooms Saturday after Saturday to search for strands of hope, as a beat writer for the Illini “football” “team.” He was also the youngest guest at my wedding, clocking in at a hair past two months old.
Meet the Players: Quick Hits
White Sox fan since: 2000
First White Sox memory: Carlos Lee’s 28-game hitting streak
Favorite White Sox memory: Paulie’s slam in Game 2 of the World Series
Favorite White Sox player: Mark Buehrle
Next White Sox statue: Hawk Harrelson
Next White Sox retired number: 25
Go-to concession food at Sox Park: Premium hot dog (Elotes a close second)
Favorite Baseball Movie: The Rookie. I like the scouts’ reactions when Jim Morris lights up the gun. I obviously love the storyline, too.
HALL OF FAME SPEED ROUND
MARK BUEHRLE No
JOE JACKSON No
PAUL KONERKO No
HAROLD BAINES No
MINNIE MIÑOSO Yes
YOAN MONCADA Yes
CHRIS SALE Yes
South Side Sox on the field: Lefty starter who hasn’t touched 170 pounds yet.
True or false: Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn’t thinking isn’t thinking of. True. I can dig They Might Be Giants. “Istanbul” is a classic.