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Gamethread: Padres at White Sox

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Carson Fulmer, take two

MLB: Spring Training-Chicago White Sox at Chicago Cubs
Take Two: Carson Fulmer is going to try to throw more than one inning and give up fewer than four runs this time.
Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

Time: 2:05 PM CST

Webcast: whitesox.com

TV: None

Radio: None

The BIG NEWS before today’s game: The Chicago White Sox have signed LHP Robbie Ross Jr. to a minor league deal and invited him to big league camp. I was confused and excited about this until I realized I was confusing Robbie Ross with Robbie Ray. Ross will be in the mix of left-handed relievers and is exactly the kind of guy who will be mysteriously dominant for a stretch of time before it all falls apart. We’ll probably see him with the big league club because we’ll probably see a lot of people with the big league club, and my infallible scouting eye tells me he’s a person. The telltale signs are all there: Carbon-based biped walking upright on his hind legs, a head at the end of his neck, needing oxygen and water to survive, and the classic soft, squishy eyeballs. Yep, not much to debate there. You’ve got to tip your hat to Rick Hahn, he really knows how to go out and build a team made of up all the same species. Ross throws a low 90s fastball, a mid 80s slider, and a high 70s curve. As far as the staff of southsidesoxdotcom are aware, he has no affiliation with Oscar Wilde.

The Starting Lineup for Your Chicago White Sox:

The Lineup for Those Other Guys:

That’s a pretty nice looking Sox lineup, with lots of big beef boys who will be looking to angrily mash taters back in the direction of the hurler and beyond. Carson Fulmer will be taking the mound for the White Sox and looking to improve on his last outing, wherein he gave up a leadoff homer and then struggled to get the fourth out after an error and the ensuing three unearned runs. On this Oscar Sunday, will Fulmer be able to turn in an award-worthy performance? Ah ha ha ha you all better be ready for Oscar jokes, about movies I haven’t seen, in the recap. There could even be another Oscar Wilde reference.

This is a split-squad game for the San Diego Padres, so they are throwing out a bunch of guys, which is just what you’d expect from a baseball team. I’ll be honest, I was pretty shocked when I looked up Cory Spangenberg (anagram: spongy green crab) and found out that he spent the majority of multiple seasons in the major leagues. The Padres are so far off my radar that I figured he was one of those guys generated by someone’s MLB The Show career when they’re 40 seasons deep and he somehow came to life via an 80s science fiction mechanism, but the dude has almost 1,000 major league PAs! He’s socked 20 dingers, people. This is a real, live baseball person we’re talking about and I want to apologize, here and now, for putting him in the same category as Kelly LeBrock. Also, there’s a guy name Tatis Jr., but I’m sure no one around here has any thoughts on him.