Medias Blancas sufren Cinco de Mayo blowout, 8-4

Cinco de mayo, blowout, denial. It wasn’t fun this time, letting you go.

Hector Santiago, last start: 4 ²⁄₃ IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 48 GS

Hector Santiago, tonight: 3 ¹⁄₃ IP, 6 H, 8 ER, 6 BB, 2 K, 12 GS, 35-pitch first inning

What if I never, a bullet forever, held out my hand to you? We wouldn’t have known beautiful flow.

Tim Anderson: 3-for-4, 3 R, 2 RBI, fifth HR of the season in the seventh, sixth HR of the season in the ninth.

Absolute measure, I ain’t no pleasure hound. Bus out of control, plowing the road.

Welington Castillo: 1-for-4, 3 K, caught Ryan LaMarre stealing second base, framing for shit.

Out on a bender, just Alice falling down a deepening hole.

Daniel Palka: 0-for-4, 2 K, GIDP in first inning, 4 LOB

Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Now I just wonder what spell I was under, thinking you thought of me as something to hold.

White Sox bullpen (Chris Volstad, Jace Fry, Chris Beck): 5 ²⁄₃ IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K

Cinco de mayo, burnout Ohio. It wasn’t me this time, letting you go.

The White Sox fall to 9-22, last in the Central, seven games behind the first-place Cleveland Indians, not exactly world beating at 17-16. Chicago is the third-worst team in baseball, a mere two games better than the undeniably pathetic Cincinnati Reds.

It is the 25th anniversary of Chicago native Liz Phair’s groundbreaking Exile in Guyville, a record that influenced and inspired me as much as any work I’ve yet encountered. Thank you for indulging me in a spot of Liz fandom, although if you thought you’d get anything more recappy on Cinco de Mayo after a few Modelos, you’re barking up the wrong recapper, bub.

And yes, I have officially just lost my shit: