Gamethread: White Sox at Reds

I mean, yeah, you should definitely #VoteAbreu on its own merit. But why the smudged sig on the ball, Chisox?

Yesterday the gamethread took a brief turn toward debating the merits of Cincinnati chili (I will be dead honest with you, I’d never thought twice about something called Cincinnati chili, and now I learn it’s actually, like spaghetti sauce? How did chili become spaghetti sauce? Actually ... chili as spaghetti sauce is starting to sound a little awesome.)

But, more to the point, jefe Brett had a little fun taking the piss out of Wrigley’s newest food “innovation” today on Twitter. You should check out the full run @SouthSideSox. But here’s a taste, in a manner or speaking; something got the kid riled, because he was dealing a little bit:

OK, lineups.

Daniel Palka in left field makes sense, because his chronic spin moves and two left feet in right could, probably, perhaps, OK, not really play any cleaner in left.

And if you went to sleep last night thinking, I just hope there’s a way to get Matt Davidson more first base reps, not in early fielding drills but in a game, like, right away, well, St. Ricky is answering your prayer to the Society of Misbegotten Force Outs:

Over on the Redlegs ledger, they are very aggressive about their series wins:

I know it’s been this hot, vogue thing for a decade or so, but how pissed are you if you’re a position player batting No. 9 behind a pitcher who in all likelihood can’t hit, doesn’t want to hit, doesn’t know how to hit, ipso facto should not hit?

Listen, in our ideal, Field of Dreams alternate reality, pitchers should hit, all that delectable “strategy” of the National League could come to bear and reveal lousy managers instantaneously. But have you realized the fallacy of the NL being a more “strategic” league? The crux of the “strategy” involves running out a terrible hitter at least once every three innings, and then deciding how best to patch that leaky hole in the boat for the remainder of the game. You gotta be bleepin’ me.

There are three pitchers — Zack Greinke, Michael Lorenzen and Brent Suter — on pace for 1.0 offensive WAR this season.

I guarantee you just read that and were like, wow, impressive. THAT is how frigging stupid NL rules are, in the current climate of putting pitchers in bubble wrap and not letting them train as players (hitters). But by all means, let’s wet ourselves over a double-switch!

Man, guess there’s something about a 29-55, second-worst 84-game start in franchise history (thanks, 1948) that gets me feisty. I need a poll to mellow down a bit.

So, remember:

#VoteAbreu

#EatArbys