It’s almost over, friends.
Earlier this week, the White Sox detailed the final events of the “Hawk Harrelson Farewell Tour” (which, due to illness and family tragedies and an overall, surprising sense of overwhelming melancholy on the part of Hawkeroo, has wheezed and sputtered all summer), and the final leg has some kick.
Sunday, August 19: Paul Konerko
“It might be the only game ever that I hope goes to extra innings.”
The ebullient Hawk has been surprisingly reticent all season. If he chooses to wear that coat again on Sunday, Konerko has been known to talk and never stop. And when he’s finished, not a single viewer will be able to remember anything PK was just talking about.
Hopefully, Hawk will at least remember to ask Paulie how to get a 6,000-foot mansion in Arizona.
Sunday, September 2: Hawk Harrelson Day
“Adopted son” A.J. Pierzynski hits the booth
The first 10,000 fans get Hawk Nesting Dolls, and boy howdy there’s gonna be a line forming for these. Pierzynski has already said he’s aiming to get Hawk to cry; he might begin with sharing projections that have the Democrats taking back Congress.
White Sox Charities will hold a “He Gone” for Charity sweepstakes on game day, with a bevy of prizes, including one fan joining Hawk on the field for his ceremony, as well as T-shirts, autographs, and “Hawk” screening tix. The sweepstakes take place at whitesox.com/hawk from August 13-19.
Thursday, September 13, 7 p.m. CST
We’ve seen this story before. But, dadgum right, we’ll watch it again.
Sunday, September 23
It had to be the Cubs.
Yep, Harrelson’s last call comes against the Cubs.
Will Ann Meyers Drysdale show up, to lend a bit of a full circle aspect to the proceedings? Will someone rouse Wimpy from a funnel cake stupor and prod him into additional barnyard noises to get Hawk to crack a smile? Will “son” Darrin Jackson fight with “son” Pierzynski for the closest seat to Papa? Will Steve Stone be allowed in the booth? Will Jason Benetti or Our Chuck Garfien roam the park, peppering Hawk with random/fan questions about his life, times, or golf handicap?
Your guess is as good as mine. It promises to be must-see TV. Fingers crossed that, unlike the tour so far, it delivers. Hawk deserves — and all of us deserve — that.