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It was hard to know how well this pairing was going to work, seeing as how Hawk Harrelson has struggled to put together a good broadcast all season long. But teaming up with one of the guys he “loved like a son,”* A.J. Pierzynski, made for a great call for the game. And crushing the Boston Red Sox, 8-0, didn’t hurt, either.
*Don’t feel too special, A.J., you were one of literally 50 guys during the broadcast that Hawk “loves like a son.”
Pregame photo album section:
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2/3 inning before first Yaz reference from Hawk.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: A.J., you had a lot of at-bats in your career. How many times did you go up and didn't get a pitch to hit?
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Considering I swung at any pitch they threw up there, I never got any. So the answer to that would be zero.
AJ: You have Konerko and Thomas, those great hitters, they were able to look for a pitch and get it. I just went up there and saw the rosin bag, and swung at it. It didn't matter to me.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
(The screengrab below came as Hawk was giving A.J. crap about dropping baseballs when runners stole against him.)
HAWK: That's fouled right back, underneath us.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Do you catch those, or do I have to protect you?
HAWK: You better protect yourself. You can have 'em, unless you're trying to throw someone out at 2B.
AJ: That's true. I'll drop it for sure then. The old Carlton Fisk trick. pic.twitter.com/Qffjk3EpUe
So, you're saying Pick to Click is rigged? pic.twitter.com/IVWWI2Mn9e
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
(To be fair, by game’s end, Hawk had conceded A.J. beat him, today, and wouldn’t take his 12th victory “as a birthday gift,” so he’s principled about Picks to Click. Kudos to A.J. for teasing Hawk all game about how well Engel was doing, and making up a story after Tim Anderson’s home run in the first that TA is who A.J. “really” wanted, so he should be credited for TA’s effort. Toward the end of the game, Hawk also admitted, in a way that seemed a self-own, that Hawk wins Picks to Click every year.)
HAWK: Jerry Reinsdorf [is one of three owners who] has brought seven world championships to their cities.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Does Michael Jordan get some credit for six of them?
[another foul ball back]
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Oh, that might hit Farmio! That might hit Farmio, and no one will notice.
HAWK: [CACKLES] That's cold. DJ will protect him.
AJ: No, DJ hopes it hits him also.
.@ChuckGarfien: AJ, what's your favorite Hawkism?
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: I can't say it on the air, Chuck, because of the bleep. But every time he used to walk by me, he used to curse at me, with a certain finger up in the air.
HAWK: The only thing Paulie couldn't do on a baseball field: He was not fleet of foot.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: That's an understatement, right there. But the thing I tell people about Paulie, if he could get to it, it was caught. Problem was he couldn't get to much.
HAWK: Ted Williams told me, "Hawk, let me tell you something about hitting. Until you learn—this was profound—until you learn how to take 0-for-4, you'll never reach your potential.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Well yeah, but the difference between Ted Williams and everyone else is he never took 0-for-4
Regarding Ozzie "taking pressure" off of the White Sox with his rants...
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
Well, AJ was the one guy who'd always ask us, quietly, after Ozzie went off: "Doesn't it get tiring for you guys?"
So, A.J. was right to push back on Hawk there...
[talk about Harold Baines' number getting retired while active]
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Jerry tried to retire mine while I was still playing, but I told him no, hold off, Jerry.
HAWK: You know, you can go to hell for lying like you can for stealing.
AJ: By the way, that foul ball?
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: Yeah?
AJ: Cost me my pen, I think. I threw my pen out the window, in such a panic. https://t.co/mYIMjUfvLb
AJ: You see the chain they're all wearing there, that's the chain you wore with your Nehru suits back in the 60s and 70s.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: Don't go there.
AJ: When you were the fashion icon, with the "onion Hawk" haircut. pic.twitter.com/XKTHT59rcU
HAWK: I bought one Nehru suit of every color, and that cover of SI was the only one I got to wear before they went out of style
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Exit velocity on @Danielbpalka's homer 112, like your suits. That's how fast they went out of style
HAWK: Only took a couple weeks, and they gone!
AJ: Wait, after the next pitch, can we see that photo again? I mean, that is a man of style right there. Style and substance. No buttons on the shirt? Just the V-neck, past the chest. What do you call the scarf—is that a scarf?
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: Can it, would ya? pic.twitter.com/gUdQu9fLp0
AJ: Yoán is 1-for-2. Rosie, the official scorer, gave him a knock that every time I played, was an error. Rosie cost me at least 75 hits in my career.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: I love Rosie.
AJ: I don't.
HAWK: There's only one guy in baseball I've ever seen who was a worse slider than me.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
AJ: Me?
HAWK: No, Ozzie. I used to laugh my behind off watching him slide.
AJ: He was also the only guy in the history of the game to get the hidden ball trick on him twice.
AJ: There's no way I'd miss [your final game on the 23rd] if you asked. 2nd, no way you're getting through it w/o buckets of tears.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: I probably cry more than any man you've ever known.
AJ: Especially when you watch Walker, Texas Ranger. You cry in the middle of that!
— Jack (@WhiteSox_Jack) September 2, 2018
AJ: Happy birthday out there for you, Hawk
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: 2 days, 77
AJ: Are you 77 or 76?
HAWK: 77, but put a speedometer on my behind, I'm about 92
AJ: Didn't you change your age?
HAWK: They changed it
AJ: Who did, the police?
HAWK: No
[We never learned who changed his age] pic.twitter.com/JLVDnPWsn9
In the eighth inning, it now sounds like A.J. is chewing tobacco.
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
[talk about the decade of Chicago baseball ahead]
— South Side Sox (@SouthSideSox) September 2, 2018
HAWK: Those guys up north aren't going anywhere. They're going to be good for awhile. I don't like the Cubs, and it's gonna be great to get to see our guys...come out there and kick some Cub ass...like Joe Namath, I guarantee it