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The Best of Wimpy, Vol. 3

The Cleveland series provided both Jason Benetti and Steve Stone the chance to work games with the hungry one

By Brett Ballantini
Did You Bring Your Accordion, Wimpy? “I don’t play, but I love to listen.”

Well, with the Chicago White Sox steaming toward ninetysomething losses, fans turned on the Cleveland series for an interesting batting lineup over three games: Jason Benetti and Wimpy Paciorek (who will gladly broadcast for you) on Tuesday, Benetti and Steve Stone on Wednesday, and Stone & Wimpy on Thursday.

On the occasion of such a fun experiment, and with Wimpy telling more tall tales of how it used to be, here are some highlights from the broadcasts:

Tuesday — Jason and Wimpy

(Yeah, I know, the Central Florida game was on Thursday, because who doesn’t need college football three days a week?)

Wednesday — Jason and Steve

Indeed, it turned out to be true. With the minor league season over, the broadcast crew could find no excuse to challenge this “rule” and encourage another nonsensical Wimpy moment. Score one for Steve.

Thursday — Steve and Wimpy

Right out of the gate, Stone was bringing his A-game on Twitter:

“Sticks and Stones” was devoted to Paciorek’s career record against Stone:

It did result in some exchanges a bit too long for Twitter. Essentially, the riff was Steve never throwing any batter anything but curveballs.

Stone told the story of facing his Kent State batterymate, Thurman Munson, a guy who infrequently struck out. After whiffing him three times with curveballs, Munson barked at Stone to throw a fastball his fourth time up, and Stone launched one over his head (which Munson fouled off). Stone told him, “there’s your fastball,” went back to throwing curves, and got Munson to ground out.

Paciorek countered with a story from Yankee Stadium, when he came up to bat late in the game against Goose Gossage and Munson, from a crouch, started chiding him that the Seattle Mariners had given up in the game. After striking out on three pitches, Munson kept yelling at him: “See? I told you, you guys have given up!”

After seeing his stat line against Stone, Paciorek (surprised, as he had guessed he was 1-for-17 against Steve in his career), muttered, “Still waiting for you to throw me a fastball.” To which Stone countered, “Don’t worry, it’s coming, later in the game ... that’s what I told everybody.”

And during the game, when Stone hired Wimpy as baseball commissioner, the first decision Commissioner Paciorek said he would make was decidedly Steinbrennerian: Ban beards.

Seems he may have one White Sox player in his corner already:

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