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Happy Opening Day!

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No dour allowed

My bitmoji is super excited for Opening Day: Then again, she didn’t have to experience this offseason.

This article will not discuss players who signed with other teams, or who were traded to other teams. It will not mention owners or front office people or Twitterverse trolls. It will not name websites that traffic in fancy stats or metrics or W-L projections, all of which are pretty dismal regarding our Chicago White Sox. It will not fret about rebuilds or injuries.

Because Opening Day is for hope and joy and hope again.

“Opening Day” are the best two words there are, in any language. Other contenders for that title include:

  • Pay day
  • Hot fudge
  • “Good dog”
  • Multiple orgasm
  • Ocean view
  • “I quit!”

Tomorrow, we worry. But today is Opening Day. And for one brief, shining moment, anything is possible.

It is possible that Carlos Rodon becomes a true ace, and that Lucas Giolito becomes Gavin Floyd.

It is possible that Jace Fry channels Matt Thornton, Ryan Burr becomes the best use of international bonus slot money ever, and Alex Colome stops us all from hiding behind our hands when entering the ninth with a lead.

It is possible that James McCann does a decent Ron Karkovice impression, and that Wellington Castillo hits well enough to become somebody else’s problem at the trade deadline.

It is possible that a platoon of Yonder Alonso and Jose Abreu affords enough rest for both of the aging sluggers that the dingers and doubles just keep coming all season long.

It is possible that Eloy Jimenez beats out Vlad, Jr. for AL Rookie of the Year.

It is possible that Daniel Palka is Ron Kittle — a flash in the pan, in the end, but a really entertaining one for a few years.

It is possible that Yoan Moncada reminds us of Robin Ventura (as a hitter, not a manager), and Tim Anderson reminds us of Alexei Ramirez.

It is possible that Yolmer Sanchez is even weirder and more wonderful than usual.

The bliss of Opening Day pops quickly, of course, a big bubble leaving you with gum all over your face. It may last an inning, a game, or if you’re lucky, a week. But enjoy it while it’s here. It won’t come again for 365 days.

In fact, the only negative thought I offer on Opening Day 2019 is this: Regular season baseball should not be played in March. Then again, if the Sox get rained out or snowed out or frozen out today, then we get to have Opening Day all over again tomorrow.

See you in the gamethread!