Thank God I’m a Charlotte Boy

[Below is an ode to the White Sox farm system, as told through the voices of the Charlotte Knights to the tune of John Denver’s “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”]

[Verse 1: Yermín Mercedes]
Well, life on a farm ain’t really laid back
Major league fans kinda think I’m a hack
Retired once, but baby I’m back!
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

Man I didn’t mean to raise the alarm
But it’s been 10 years and I’m still on the farm
And now that the Yerminator’s lost his charm
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

[Chorus: Pitching Staff]
Well, holy cow! That strike zone is little
And Zack just called a fastball down the middle
At least the batter ain’t ’83 Ron Kittle!
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

[Verse 2: Jake Burger]
When the games are done my morale gets low
MiLB life ain’t like The Show
But to get far here you have to go with the flow
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

I’d play “Na Na Na Na” all day if I could
But the Triple-A East rivals wouldn’t take it very good
So I hit dingers when I can and walk when I should
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

[Chorus: Pitching Staff]
Well, holy cow! That strike zone is little
And Zack just called a fastball down the middle
At least the batter ain’t ’83 Ron Kittle!
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

[Verse 3: Danny Mendick]
Well, I never claimed to be five tools
Wanting more from me makes you all fools
But you gotta admit my midseason state was pretty cool
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

Yeah, major league boys in black limousines
But I’m sitting back in these yellow taxis
And while I’m still trying to live my dreams
I thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

[Chorus: Pitching Staff]
Well, holy cow! That strike zone is little
And Zack just called a fastball down the middle
At least the batter ain’t ’83 Ron Kittle!
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

[Verse 4: Zack Collins]
Well, this year wasn’t my best but at least I tried
From Chicago to Charlotte it’s been quite the ride
They said “Don’t let that Seby hurt your pride
Thank God you’re a Charlotte boy.”

Well, I know those sliders can get kind of fickle
If only I knew how to block just a little
And maybe one day I’ll even hit a triple!
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy

[Chorus: Pitching Staff]
Well, holy cow! That strike zone is little
And Zack just called a fastball down the middle
At least the batter ain’t ’83 Ron Kittle!
Thank God I’m a Charlotte boy