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Which Seinfeld Character Is Your Favorite Sox Player?

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Is Tim Anderson our Jerry? Is Adam Eaton our Elaine? This Buzzfeed-esque study settles it once and for all

MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at New York Mets Wendell Cruz-USA TODAY Sports

It’s no secret that the creators of one of the most successful television shows of all time were huge baseball geeks.

Jerry Seinfeld is an outspoken Mets fan. Show-runner Larry David is known to attend the occasional Dodgers game in Los Angeles (including saving a man from a murder conviction by filming an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm during an actual game — check out Long Shot on Netflix, if you haven’t seen it). George Constanza spends multiple seasons as an employee of the New York Yankees — with a David-voiced George Steinbrenner being one of the more popular bit roles. Former Mets star Keith Hernandez has a memorable guest star arc, as does former Yankee, Danny Tartabull.

With baseball clearly flowing through the veins of the show, we must examine our own cast and see how it lines up with the Emmy-winning crew of Seinfeld. After re-watching the entire series and then doing a deep-dive on our 2021 Sox, we can now officially declare which 2021 White Sox player corresponds with which Seinfeldian star.

Let’s just hope that our group can bring us the baseball equivalent of an Emmy ... a World Series Championship.

Tim Anderson: Jerry

This is an easy comparison. Like Jerry, Tim is the glue that holds our show together. Without the work ethic and fun spirit that vibrates through the very soul of Anderson, these Sox probably don’t have a show worth watching. He’s great at his job. He makes mistakes. He always bounces back. TA is our “Even Steven.”

José Abreu: Newman

Seems harsh, right? It’s not. Newman is the legendary postal worker of Seinfeld. And like a true postman, he delivers. Just like José. Sure, they have their differences, but I can guarantee Abreu smacks around so many pitchers, that if you listen closely, you can hear them frustratingly mutter “Abreu!” under their breath as he strolls to the plate.

Eloy Jiménez: Kramer

No one else even comes close to the antics of the one and only Cosmo Kramer. Eloy is unpredictably quirky and is the ultimate “Yes!” man. Just like Kramer, Eloy is always down to party. And just like Kramer, I wouldn’t trust Eloy for one second to remember where we parked our car at a busy shopping mall on a Saturday afternoon.

Adam Eaton: George

Like George Costanza, Adam Eaton seems to have a problem with everyone and everything. You can pretty much bet he would ask Yev Kasem twice for his piece of bread to go with his soup, despite everyone around him telling him to just shut up and move on. People don’t mind having George around, but he’s certainly not the guy you call first. And they both have pretty dreadful verticals.

Yoán Moncada: David Puddy

Yoán is the strong, silent type — a classic David Puddy (Elaine’s most famous boyfriend). Say what you will about Puddy, but he gets the job done. He’s also got a suave way about him that the ladies find irresistible ... that’s pure Moncada. And just when you think Puddy has no pop, he paints his face and brings the energy to a New Jersey Devils game. He’s there when you need him. And he darn well knows how to sport jewelry. Just like No. 10.

Zack Collins: Lomez

Can’t picture Lomez? Not your fault. He is one of two most-mentioned characters in the series that we never actually see. Like Lomez, Collins gets talked about a lot. And like Lomez, we probably won’t be seeing too much of him.

Adam Engel: Elaine

No player captures the ups and downs of Elaine Bennis like Adam Engel. Just when you think Engel’s got the job, he does the baseball equivalent of eating a $10,000 slice of wedding cake out of his boss’ refrigerator. Like Elaine, Engel is smart and at times very successful. But also like Elaine, he is constantly facing an uphill battle caused by his own doing. He might be “Sponge-worthy,” but let’s just hope he is still Sox-worthy.

Luis Robert: Bizarro Jerry

Robert makes sense as the famous “bizarro” version of Jerry (“bizarro” is actually a good thing in the Seinfeldverse). Robert is just like Tim Anderson in terms of passion and work ethic, but will likely end up being the better option long term. He has a bright future, and if he finds the right Bizarro George and Bizarro Kramer, he has many World Series rings in his future.

Nick Madrigal: Estelle Constanza

George’s mother is compact, feisty, and at times, brilliant — Madrigal in a nutshell. While Nick shows a lot of promise, I’m still not ready to move in with him yet. When he is off his game, it is insufferable. When he is on his game, you might be so turned on that you try to “stop short” with him.

Yasmani Grandal: Uncle Leo

Jerry’s uncle is one of the most beloved characters of the series. But, we always forget about him until he shows up in a big way. This is Grandal, hands down. He’s often brilliant but then has long streaks of “yada yada yada” that almost make us forget about him. That said, when he shows up we are thrilled to see him — or at least we pretend we are.

Lucas Giolito: Marisa Tomei

I mean, come on. This dude is the whole package. Charm, looks, game. He has it all. He is our Marisa Tomei. And there is no way he would actually end up with a bum like George.


Who do you think we got right? Vote below! If you have other ideas, yell at us in the comments!

Poll

Which Seinfeld/Sox comparison did we nail?

This poll is closed

  • 12%
    Tim Anderson/Jerry
    (5 votes)
  • 5%
    José Abreu/Newman
    (2 votes)
  • 28%
    Eloy Jiménez/Kramer
    (11 votes)
  • 10%
    Adam Eaton/George
    (4 votes)
  • 12%
    Yoán Moncada/Puddy
    (5 votes)
  • 5%
    Zack Collins/Lomez
    (2 votes)
  • 2%
    Adam Engel/Elaine
    (1 vote)
  • 5%
    Luis Robert/Bizarro Jerry
    (2 votes)
  • 0%
    Nick Madrigal/Estelle
    (0 votes)
  • 2%
    Yasmani Grandal/Uncle Leo
    (1 vote)
  • 15%
    Lucas Giolito/Marisa Tomei
    (6 votes)
39 votes total Vote Now