First, there was Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus ...
then came Godzilla vs. Kong ...
and now ...
it’s Yerminator vs. The Green Monster!!!!!!!!!
Can this seemingly mild-mannered human...
conquer a 37-foot-high foe that looms over all?
The Shadow knows!
Whoops, lost the genre there. That can happen when you get two molars unceremoniously yanked out on Friday, leading to a current score of Tylenol 3, Writer 0. That may also lead to plunking in the wrong lineups or even teams, so please be understanding.
The White Sox and Red Sox got a snow day off yesterday, making millions of schoolkids jealous, and leading to today being the start of the four-game series, which will include a split day-night doubleheader of seven-inning games tomorrow. Why seven innings if they’re separate tickets? In MLB, greed is a bigger monster than the wall.
Anyhow, it will be Dylan Cease on the mound for the Good Sox, fresh off a brief COVID stint as the anti-Abreu — José had the disease but no symptoms, Dylan had symptoms but no disease. Cease has been his usual self so far this season — flashes of brilliance mixed with innings when he has no idea where the ball is going.
As usual, Cease’s ERA (3.86) is better than his FIP (4.53) or WHIP (1.607) would indicate, one big problem being six walks in 9 1⁄3 innings. He hasn’t made it out of the fifth inning yet, having hit the 90-pitch mark quickly.
Will it be Good Dylan or Bad Dylan today? Probably both, so we have to hope Good Dylan wins most of the battles. He’ll have Zack Collins, fresh from the accolades of Carlos Rodón’s no-hitter, behind the plate.
Cease will be facing a Red Sox team that is supposed to be utterly horrible, but has managed a surprising 9-4 record so far, tops in the American League. Go figure. The only team with a better run differential than the White Sox in the AL? The Red Sox. Go figure.
Cease is up against Nick Pivetta, who has his own problems figuring out where the ball is going. The veteran righty is 2-0 so far, with a 3.27 ERA (4.23 FIP), but has issued seven walks in 11 innings, which means also a whole lot of pitches from him.
Those two could make it a very long afternoon.
Pivetta will be facing a White Sox lineup that has Abreu moved back to the cleanup spot, with the Yerminator right behind.
Cease will be pitching to a Red Sox team donned in special “City Connect” jerseys, which are bright yellow. Turns out that the yellow is not for the color of the lanterns hung in the steeple of the Old North Church for Paul Revere, but for the colors of the Boston Marathon, which would normally be run on Monday, Patriots’ Day, but is COVID-delayed until October.
Of course, MLB being MLB, one suspects the real reason for special color jerseys is to sell more merchandise.
This is a number of things, but one of them is decidedly not fire-emoji.
Anyway, watch for a big sales pitch when the White Sox reveal their City Connect look in June.
Oh, yeah, the lineup, led by J.D. Martinez, hitting .378, and Xavier Bogaerts, at .370:
Game time is 3:05 Central, with coverage from ESPN 1000 on the boombox and NBC Sports Channel on the idiot box.