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Gamethread (BINGO Edition): Wrapping Up the Crosstown Classic With Your Grandma’s Favorite Game

Inspired by The Guy Who Sat Behind Me Yesterday™

Former Cubs prospect Eloy Jiménez celebrates being on a better team.
Chicago White Sox

After his last two sub-par starts, many were wondering, is Los cooked? Well, Los and his chest hair had an answer for the nonbelievers, as he racked up double-digit Ks (11) for the fifth time this year, disappointing only the Cubs fan sitting behind me who bet on 12+ (don’t worry guy, if Los re-signs with the White Sox you can bet against your team again next year at the new Sportsbook Stadium).

The White Sox are favorites to win again today and sweep the series against the Team Formerly Known as the Cubs. (Don’t feel bad if you don’t feel bad).

Dylan Cease takes the mound today for the White Sox after a dazzling performance against Kansas City where he allowed only one hit and fanned 11. Though teammate Lucas Giolito expects Dylan’s pitching performance to be “nasty” (a legit stat), it’s the ABs Dylan is the most excited about today, as he boasts the team’s best slash line and has the highest exit velocity among pitchers this year. Will Dylan go deep today against his former team? Let’s f*ck around and find out.

Zach Davies will pitch for the Cubs today, coming in with a 5.94 ERA in his last seven games, allowing 39 hits in 33 13 IP. His overall ERA for the season is 4.79 with 79 SOs, which pales in comparison to Cease’s 149. Davies has been bad against bad teams (allowing seven earned runs in four innings in his last start against the Rockies, for Christ’s sake) and good against good teams (pitching six no-hit innings against the Dodgers on June 24).

Thought you were done with Leury García as an everyday starter? “HAH!” says Tony La Russa, probably. García will take over at shortstop today as Chicago’s best shortstop, Tim Anderson, takes the day off. In TA’s place batting leadoff is César Hernández surely looking to overtake Abreu in the HR arms race. Andrew Vaughn will take a stab at RF once again, and Silver Slugger Seby Zavala will be behind the plate.

Oh hey, you want to hear something intriguing? The White Sox, getting chippy with this whole dominating-the-ALC thing, apparently are monitoring all communication about the team — even gamethread drafts. Because, what ho, a lineup change bespoken of the Leury scolding above:

Now, the Cubs lineup features no one you care about anymore besides Willson Contreras, as well as another start for new guy Who the Hell is That?

For those of you attending the game or watching with Cubs fans (a questionable life choice), make sure to grab your personally-generated Crosstown Classic Wrigley Field Edition BINGO card, inspired by things the guy sitting behind me yesterday said out loud. You won’t win a prize, but you should play anyway.

First pitch is scheduled for 6:09 p.m. Central, not 6:10 because that would just be ridiculous. The game will be broadcast by ESPN and is available in the Chicago market on WLS-7, giving Steve Stone plenty of time to own Cubs fans on Twitter.