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Tournament of Tangentially Baseball-Related Videos That I Was Able to Find on YouTube

It’s the battle you never thought you’d need to weigh in on, but in these lockout-parched times you know you must.

Last month on South Side Sox, several writers collaborated to provide us with an enjoyable lockout distraction: a vote for the best baseball movie of our time. It was a lot of fun.

I really don’t know which one was my favorite (probably Bull Durham), but during one of the discussions my love for the movie Major League was expressed — and it was pointed out by Brett and others that this makes me some form of Cro-Magnon incapable of judging films and unlikely to finish a meal without getting ketchup on my tie.

And the thing is, I probably am a Cro-Magnon. I don’t really watch movies. I’ll argue the merits of any Steinbeck novel, or rank the best rock albums of the 90’s, or discuss 80’s Saturday morning cartoons at length, but I don’t have movie thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen a lot of them on the list, but as a form of entertainment, cinema does not rank very high for me. In fact, if you put me in front of a movie (in the theater or at home on my couch), there’s an 85% chance I’m going to be snoring before we hit the 40-minute mark (much to the consternation of my wife and kids). My sole criteria for judging a movie is, “If it’s on, will I keep watching or turn it off?”

As a kid I didn’t watch a lot of movies. I grew up in the middle of nowhere, and the nearest theater was 30 minutes away. In college I tried to catch up on what I’d missed, because lots of people watched movies, but ultimately it never really took for me. I preferred watching live sports, or TV, or reading, or listening to music. Devoting two hours to a movie just isn’t my thing, even if it’s about baseball.

So I made my own tournament — for guys like me who just don’t care about movies, but enjoy seeing baseball seep into other areas of our entertainment. So I present to you the “Tournament of Tangentially Baseball Related Videos That I Was Able to Find on YouTube.”

Before we get started, I’m sure you have questions, and I’ve tried to anticipate them ahead of time.

RSWS, how did you select the videos in the tournament?
These were literally the first eight baseball-related things that popped into my head that I was able to find on YouTube.

Most of these things seem to be from the 80’s and 90’s. Why is that?
These are mostly things I remember from my childhood. Some are good, some are ridiculous, but they all bring back good memories.

How was the seeding determined?
Well, Brett used a highly-scientific, complex formula integrating the rankings from respected movie review websites. My seedings come purely from my own personal enjoyment.

It seems like you created a tournament of stuff that only you enjoy. Why am I reading this
I can’t be the only one who enjoys this stuff. Right?

Where’s that Simpsons episode with all of the baseball players? That was really funny.
Of course it was. That show is genius. But Simpsons fans are also overbearing and annoying. If I put that episode on here, nerds from all over the world would take over the voting, like Steele Walker’s long-lost Russian family.

These are kind of cool, but I remember another thing that is way cooler. It should be on here.
Yeah, but you didn’t make a tournament, and I did. Seriously, though, put it in the comments. One of my big reasons for doing this is the hope that people will share other baseball-related videos that we can all enjoy. My other reason is to convince you that Breathe is cool.

Wait, what?
Never mind, you’ll see.

Are we ever going to get to this tournament?
OK, fine. Here we go.


[While we’re calling this a “tournament” and seeding this as 1 vs. 8, etc., well, we’re not going to run three or four articles. So consider the seeds to be little more than the author’s gentle leaning on the scale. This is a battle royale, winner take all.]

No. 1 Seed

It’s Garry Shandling’s Show — “Foul Ball” — Season 1, Episode 4

This is one of the greatest TV series of all time. Did I mention I grew up in the middle of nowhere? We only had one TV station that came in clearly (NBC), until FOX came along. Then we had two! As a kid I couldn’t understand why this show was so brilliant, I just knew that I loved it.

vs.

No. 8 Seed

Live performance of “Ty Cobb” by Soundgarden

It’s a decent Soundgarden tune, on an underrated Soundgarden album. I don’t really know if the song has anything to do with Ty Cobb, though.


No. 2 Seed

“Baseball the Pete Rose Way”

My brother actually discovered this about a year ago and shared it with me. It’s Pete Rose teaching some kids how to play baseball “his way” for an hour. It is completely captivating. I don’t think any planning was involved in this production; they just gave Pete a bat, surrounded him with some kids and let him talk baseball for an hour. You won’t be able to stop watching.

vs.

No. 7 Seed

Eddie Feigner: The King of Softball

Growing up, my dad loved to tell stories about The King and his Court. This documentary isn’t great, but Eddie Feigner was awesome.


No. 3 Seed

Breathe - How Can I Fall?

I don’t know why Breathe isn’t remembered more fondly. The band was good. The songs were catchy. Their first album was killer. All of the guys were good-looking. “Don’t Tell Me Lies” still holds up. But they kind of lost their way after that, tried to become a boy band, and now the lead singer sings in a Holiday Inn in Bangkok or something.

But this isn’t in the tournament because Breathe was awesome, it’s here because of the video. From what I can tell, it’s a bunch of Italian male models playing stickball in a village while their model girlfriends watch, and oh by the way, Breathe is playing “How Can I Fall?” But guess what? The pitcher is not only a total d-bag, but LOOK AT HOW HE THROWS! And he’s legitimately surprised when he gives up a dinger and the other guy steals his girlfriend, and then he loses it. One of my favorite videos ever.

vs.

No. 6 Seed

Andy Griffith Show: The Ball Game, Season 7, Episode 4

The Andy Griffith Show is my all-time favorite TV show. This would be ranked higher, but only a clip (and not the full episode) can be found on YouTube. Anyone who’s ever umpired a Little League game can relate to poor Andy in this one. Come on Aunt Bee, give him a break!


No. 4 Seed

“The Way I Swing” by Kid Sensation w/ Ken Griffey Jr.

When I was a kid, one party album reigned supreme in my school, and it was SWASS by Seattle legend Sir-Mix-a-Lot. This was before Baby Got Back, when your mom listened to Mix-a-Lot and you’d moved on to Pearl Jam. This album was legit, and one of the best tracks was Rippin’, which featured rapper Kid Sensation.

Fast-forward four years, and a kid on the bus leans over to me and says, “Hey, remember Kid Sensation?” Of course I remember Kid Sensation! “Check this out, he has a song with Ken Griffey Jr.” This is 1992. Griffey is the coolest baseball player ever. And his rhymes aren’t bad! This would be seeded higher if there were a video, but alas, this is an audio only track.

vs.

No. 5 Seed

Lonely Island - Uniform On

First of all, NSFW. This one feels out of place on the list, because it’s not obscure in the least; it has more than two million views. But it’s also hilarious. This is the type of album I would make if I were funnier, talented, and had musically talented friends.


So there you go. Vote early and often, or at least once over the next few days. And if you have other weird, baseball-related videos that no one remembers but you, please share them in the comments.

Poll

What is the best tangentially baseball-related video that Right Size Wrong Shape Was Able to Find on YouTube?

This poll is closed

  • 18%
    Gary Shandling: Foul Ball
    (2 votes)
  • 18%
    Baseball the Pete Rose Way
    (2 votes)
  • 18%
    Breathe: How Can I Fail?
    (2 votes)
  • 0%
    Ken Griffey Jr.: The Way I Swing
    (0 votes)
  • 18%
    Lonely Island: Uniform On
    (2 votes)
  • 9%
    Andy Griffith: The Ball Game
    (1 vote)
  • 18%
    Eddie Feigner: The King of Softball
    (2 votes)
  • 0%
    Soundgarden: Ty Cobb
    (0 votes)
11 votes total Vote Now