Know Your Enemy: the Cubs

The White Sox are still being led by a senile crypt keeper, who was sold to the fans as a bill of goods. Specifically “Hall of Fame manager” and “bullpen managing genius.”

I have seen neither of those things. But alas, we truck on through this slog of a season.

What happened last time?

The South Siders swept the baby bears right off of their home turf. The first game of the series was played during what can only be described as a “winter event.” The second game was also quite cold. But now my mom has seen Sox/Cubs in both stadiums, so I guess it was kinda worth it (despite the fact that Wrigley played “YMCA,” which is 1000% worse than the wave).

The first game had a perfect opposite-field home run from Tim Anderson, despite 45° at game time and a whole lot of wind and rain. The White Sox had the instant lead that the Cubs never managed to recover from. The Cubs also inexplicably made it a bullpen day instead of moving up another starter to replace Drew Smyly (who was put on the bereavement list before the game). The White Sox got a good look at Seiya Suzuki, who will be dangerous once he adjusts to MLB’s style of play, and Nick Madrigal in a Cubs uniform. Nico Hoerner was responsible for the lone run for the Cubs, with an RBI double.

In the finale, Lucas Giolito struck out 10, and Luis Robert ran smack dab into a brick wall in center field after making an amazing, game-saving catch. José Abreu and Leury García homered for the White Sox to pull them out of a 3-1 hole. The two Cubs home runs were from Patrick Wisdom and Hoerner, while also marking the end of their scoring for the night. Kyle Hendricks, who is supposed to be the Cubs’ ace, limped his way through the lineup, as he continued to struggle into May.

How are things going?

After an incredibly poor showing against the Red Sox (losing two of three, with the Red Sox scoring 35 runs in three games) the White Sox need a win. Badly. They also need to fire La Russa and Dallas Keuchel right into the sun, but that’s probably not happening.

The Cubs have leaned into the excuse of rebuilding (but not actually doing any sort of rebuilding) and are sitting comfortably in fourth place in the NL Central. They’re 10 ¹⁄₂ back from the Brewers, but four games ahead of the Reds (who are in last place because their owner, Bob Castellini, is a straight-up garbage person). The good news (?) is that there are still seven teams worse than the Cubs: Oakland, Seattle, Baltimore, Detroit, Kansas City, Washington, and Cincinnati.

Thursday was historically terrible for the Cubs, for those of you who love baseball history:

Pitchers, everyone’s got ’em

Saturday will be Johnny Cueto vs. Keegan Thompson. Thompson has a 4-0 record and 1.54 ERA overall, and a 2.61 ERA on the road. The White Sox have faced him for a total of 23 at-bats and are slashing .392/.440/.524. Cueto has done well in his two starts this season, beating both the Yankees and Kansas City while lasting through six innings both times, and striking out a total of 12 batters for his trouble.

Sunday is Wade Miley vs. Dylan Cease. Cease’s last outing wasn’t great, as he only lasted three innings against the Red Sox, giving up eight hits and seven earned runs. He’s pitched well against the Cubs, although in 44 at-bats they have run up a .290 average. Miley has spent some time in Triple-A before re-entering the big leagues. He’s posting a 3.38 ERA so far this season over 16 innings, allowing 12 hits and striking out 10, He’s faced the South Siders seven times over his career, the last time in 2019.

DraftKings Corner

Hey friends, do you like sports? Do you also like gambling? Well, SBNation and South Side Sox have just the link for you. Stop by and visit the DraftKings Sportsbook and you can learn that pregame the White Sox are -140 on the moneyline and and -1.5/+140 on the run line. Take a look!

Bird app hate

We all hate the Ricketts, right? They’re basically a worse version than the family in Succession. And the fact that the Cubs refuse to acknowledge Sammy Sosa. But this story really takes the cake: