Happy Saturday, White Sox fans, and happy White Sox doubleheader nightcap win, I guess.
We’re doing things differently today: In lieu of customary game coverage, I have created several original memes that I hope make it easier for you to be a White Sox fan at this trying time.
Before our day was ruined by the first game loss, we relived Mark Buehrle’s perfect game, because there was nothing else to celebrate.
The nightcap was on Fox, so we had to suffer through the analysis of traitor A.J. Pierzynski. Most of us White Sox fans loved the catcher when he played on the South Side, but now, with his national garbage-kicking apologist bias, his commentary is grating.
The good news from today’s game: Lance Lynn is back. Kind of. The White Sox won, so let me have this one. We’re friends, right? Lance Lynn is BACK, I said.
Maybe Lynn isn’t officially back, but Moncada is. He was a big offensive force in both games of today’s doubleheader.
The White Sox have blown so many bases-loaded opportunities this season, it was shocking to see them score on the last one they packed.
Splitting the doubleheader today still puts the White Sox in a deficit for this series against the Guardians, and they may be able to split it if Dylan Cease can secure a win tomorrow, which would put the White Sox, that’s right, back at .500.
The White Sox have reached .500 several times this year, but they haven’t been over .500 since May. It may have something to do with Tony La Russa.
It’s been a tough second half already, so today you will be spared from the optimism, because at times like these, it feels like toxic positivity. I love bringing you the hope and celebratory takes, but the first game of this doubleheader broke me after yesterday’s loss.
It’s true that the season isn’t over, and the AL Central race is tight, and anything can happen this fresh out of All-Star break at four games back. We want the White Sox to win so badly, but the White Sox are the team beating the White Sox in every loss.
And finally, don’t forget about Reese McGuire.
Place your bets on a Cease win tomorrow, despite these desperation-laden memes.
I’ll return next week with my usual optimism, but for this week, I join the rest of my brethren on South Side Sox: