White Sox get their Astros handed to them, 21-5

Let’s make it perfectly clear: This game was not totally without White Sox highlights, even if we’re damned if we’ll bother showing you any of them.

Yoan Moncada had a three-run homer. Gavin Sheets had his first career four-hit game. AJ Pollock made a nice leaping catch to rob José Altuve. The Sox drew eight walks, which for them is a week’s worth. And the game managed to end in less than four hours, albeit just less than.

Not that any of the highlights came before the White Sox were already down by 10 runs. Who knew the game wouldn’t end up being nearly that close?

Things got out of hand early, as 2018 Lucas Giolito took over his 2022 body. Giolito made it through the first thanks to a terrible 3-2 call on Alex Bregman, and through the second by only yielding a solo homer to Trey Mancini.

Then came the third, It looked like Gio might escape much damage when Yordan Alvarez took a fastball right down the pipe for the second out, with men on second and third. But Bregman then got revenge with a double — the first of his four extra-base hits, two of them homers — and Kyle Tucker, who also ended up with four hits, singled him home, and it was 4-zilch.

The fourth was worse. Much worse. Giolito gave up three hits, and then Vince Velazquez came in to give up four more. Bingo — now 10-zip, with every Astro having a hit, but no slaughter rule to stop the pain.

Giolito’s final line was three innings-plus, eight hits and seven earned runs, raising his ERA to 5.34. Velasquez got charged with five runs in three innings himself, José Ruiz added five more in two innings, and Josh Harrison wrapped things up in the ninth with the best pitching of the day, just four runs worth — though that did double Josh’s 2022 ERA to 18.00.

That adds up to 21, the most runs ever scored by a team at the GuRF.

BUT IT’S MERCIFULLY OVER!

It’s still just a series split, which, let’s face it, most of us would have considered a pretty good outcome against Houston. Both the Twins and Guardians were off today, so the 61-58 Sox are 1 ¹⁄₂ behind Minnesota and 2 ¹⁄₂ behind Cleveland, with three games by Lake Erie this weekend, so the gap could be closed quickly. It’s not like they’ll be all worn out by the tension of today’s game.

WHICH BRINGS US TO ELVIS

Not the one in the picture above, though he will have a celebratory night at the GuRF on the 26th. Rather, Elvis Andrus, who was outrighted by Oakland in a salary dump Wednesday, and whom the White Sox reportedly will be plugging in at shortstop tomorrow. Leury García has joined Tim Anderson on the IL, and Romy Gonáalez (.167) and Lenyn Sosa (.114) have hit even worse than Leury, so Elvis (.237, 1.2 WAR) entering the building will be very welcome.