Here’s how jefe Cairo rolls ’em out tonight at Sox Park, hoping to secure a series win just two games in. We can’t say that’s happened very often.
And look who’s tooling around in the infield, getting ready to be that September waiver-deal acquisition, along with Luis, Eloy, and so on:
Moncada getting work at third: pic.twitter.com/51aywCBq8K— Mark Gonzales (@MDGonzales) September 3, 2022
Hmm no reason to insert this unless it becomes an astute estimate by game’s end, huh?
Let’s get right to it, the White Sox put up crooked numbers in the first, fourth and eighth, scored 13 runs on 13 hits, and headed to the top of the ninth with something very special happening — a Dylan Cease no-hitter.
Cease had 91 pitches, with five Ks and two walks. So the perfect game was out of the question, but he had faced just 25 batters with one of the walks erased by a double play.
A no-no? With this low a pitch count and Dylan coaxing some weak swings from Minnesota rather than running up tons of pitches with many Ks, entirely possible.
And just like that I’m sucked right back in lmaoooo this #WhiteSox team is something else— Liddle Tina (@liddle_ktina) September 4, 2022
The Twins suck. And Rocco Baldelli has REALLY been sucking lately. Quit with the bullshit Joe Mauer schtick dude.
And now Rocco is prolonging the inning even more goddddd— Kaylee (@k__ridgeway) September 4, 2022
Jesus Christ Twins going for maximum embarrassment tonight— SoxOptimist (@OptimistSox) September 4, 2022
Old friend Lenny, new friend Son of Lenny, checking in. Fewer golf tweets, more of this content Mr. Vice President!
Tonight’s recapper, checking in:
Omgomgomgomgomg— Di Billick (@DiBillick) September 4, 2022
Cease punches out Caleb Hamilton to start off the inning, and gets a quick fly out from Gilberto Celestino to creep within one out of history.
SO CLOSE ‼️— Yahoo Sports MLB (@MLByahoosports) September 4, 2022
Dylan Cease loses his no-hitter with two outs in the 9th pic.twitter.com/wWo3SkSSfR
screaming crying throwing up— Chrystal O’Keefe (@chrystal_ok) September 4, 2022
ALL MY HOMIES HATE LUIS ARRAEZ— Ali White (@aliwhitesox) September 4, 2022
Dylan Cease gets a standing ovation after pitching 8.2 innings without allowing a hit pic.twitter.com/LeGDAGkYKT— FOX Sports: MLB (@MLBONFOX) September 4, 2022
Dylan was crushed (oh, the body language on Arráez’s duck snort!), but recovered to punch out Kyle Garlick and earn his first career one-hitter!
Such a remarkable night for Dylan Cease. We are so proud. pic.twitter.com/zOPNeRckcn— Chicago White Sox (@whitesox) September 4, 2022
Even The Tyrone couldn’t jinx Cease tonight:
However, speaking of jinxes, from the folks who brought you Fresh Prince in the Empty Room Looking around:
Some of us, pulled back in by these dastardly Pale Hose, got a little emotional:
Either way that box score is still beautiful, well done Dylan pic.twitter.com/dE1izeqUxj— Liddle Tina (@liddle_ktina) September 4, 2022
Friend of the program Matt may be losing his mind a bit over the one-hitter, but hey, slack is granted tonight, of all nights.
The White Sox long awaited run of excellence has finally come, and somehow with all that has gone on and all the ugly baseball along the way, it may actually not be too late. Insanity. Baseball.— M@ (@MattSpiegel670) September 4, 2022
On the other hand, swell hell Heyman, ease up body ain’t cold yet:
White Sox win 13-0. Despite their terrible season, they are in the thick of the AL Central race. And Dylan Cease is a Cy Young candidate.— Jon Heyman (@JonHeyman) September 4, 2022
I say it so often I’m past being embarrassed, but we all really need more mechanical turk in our lives.
Nothing happening recently to make me rethink my "fuck the twins" stance,— mechanical turk (@_mechanicalturk) September 4, 2022
Really, ditto Ali. We need her here doing more than just dominating the Bird App every night. WITH THE DAGGER!
SWEEP THESE BASTARDS TOMORROW— Ali White (@aliwhitesox) September 4, 2022
Truth, my namesake of sorts was the first player I was excited to watch on the White Sox. Not only within an out of a no-no, but lost a perfect game late and in very controversial manner.
Dylan Cease: 1st White Sox pitcher to lose a no-hit bid with 2 outs in the 9th since Ken Brett in 1976 against the Angels— Mark Simon (@MarkASimonSays) September 4, 2022
Jerry Remy got the hit!https://t.co/gQRPki4oTm
Oh and if you don’t think Stone Pony has been spoiling for some I told you so’s, look who picked tonight to schoolmarm WST!
Congrats to Dylan Cease. What a great performance. The boys are hitting some homeruns and the team is coming together. If Cleveland loses to Seattle and they’re down 4-0 the Sox will move to 2 back. Day game tomorrow. All of you…Get Your Rest— Steve Stone (@stevestone) September 4, 2022
Also, hate to say it, Ali, gotta get some new friends.
Or at least some new Cease Day friends:
I was supposed to go out like 2 hours ago but told my friends I couldn’t be there until Cease gave up a hit. He waited to do so until the final out, my friends are none too pleased with me— Ali White (@aliwhitesox) September 4, 2022
Getting Teddy Clowngame to flail in a puddle of his own tears? Nice side effect of a one-hitter.
#MNTwins came into #WhiteSox series riding high.— Ted (@tlschwerz) September 4, 2022
They’ve now seen their two best starters get hurt, likely losing one, and have placed their 2B on the IL.
A game from being swept, they head to New York against the #Yankees next.
“When you got a no-hitter on the line, it’s not hard to stay focused.”