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Bird App Recap: Two strikes from immortality

Dylan Cease goes 8 2⁄3 hitless in White Sox romp

Here’s how jefe Cairo rolls ’em out tonight at Sox Park, hoping to secure a series win just two games in. We can’t say that’s happened very often.

And look who’s tooling around in the infield, getting ready to be that September waiver-deal acquisition, along with Luis, Eloy, and so on:

Hmm no reason to insert this unless it becomes an astute estimate by game’s end, huh?

Let’s get right to it, the White Sox put up crooked numbers in the first, fourth and eighth, scored 13 runs on 13 hits, and headed to the top of the ninth with something very special happening — a Dylan Cease no-hitter.

Cease had 91 pitches, with five Ks and two walks. So the perfect game was out of the question, but he had faced just 25 batters with one of the walks erased by a double play.

A no-no? With this low a pitch count and Dylan coaxing some weak swings from Minnesota rather than running up tons of pitches with many Ks, entirely possible.

The Twins suck. And Rocco Baldelli has REALLY been sucking lately. Quit with the bullshit Joe Mauer schtick dude.

Old friend Lenny, new friend Son of Lenny, checking in. Fewer golf tweets, more of this content Mr. Vice President!

Tonight’s recapper, checking in:

Cease punches out Caleb Hamilton to start off the inning, and gets a quick fly out from Gilberto Celestino to creep within one out of history.

And, then:

Dylan was crushed (oh, the body language on Arráez’s duck snort!), but recovered to punch out Kyle Garlick and earn his first career one-hitter!

Even The Tyrone couldn’t jinx Cease tonight:

However, speaking of jinxes, from the folks who brought you Fresh Prince in the Empty Room Looking around:

Some of us, pulled back in by these dastardly Pale Hose, got a little emotional:

Friend of the program Matt may be losing his mind a bit over the one-hitter, but hey, slack is granted tonight, of all nights.

On the other hand, swell hell Heyman, ease up body ain’t cold yet:

I say it so often I’m past being embarrassed, but we all really need more mechanical turk in our lives.

Really, ditto Ali. We need her here doing more than just dominating the Bird App every night. WITH THE DAGGER!

Truth, my namesake of sorts was the first player I was excited to watch on the White Sox. Not only within an out of a no-no, but lost a perfect game late and in very controversial manner.

Oh and if you don’t think Stone Pony has been spoiling for some I told you so’s, look who picked tonight to schoolmarm WST!

Also, hate to say it, Ali, gotta get some new friends.

Or at least some new Cease Day friends:

Getting Teddy Clowngame to flail in a puddle of his own tears? Nice side effect of a one-hitter.

“When you got a no-hitter on the line, it’s not hard to stay focused.”