The White Sox Fan’s Lament

(To the tune of The Cowboy’s Lament, aka The Streets of Laredo, the tune being an 18th Century Irish ballad and the words maybe written in the 19th, recorded by dozens of singers.)

The White Sox Fan’s Lament

As I walked out in the streets of Chicago
As I walked out in Chicago one day
I spied a White Sox fan wearing a team jersey
Wearing a team jersey and cold as mound clay

“I see by your outfit that you are a Sox fan”
These words he did say as I boldly stepped by
“Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story
I’ve long been a Sox fan but my spirit must die

“It was once in the bleachers I used to go watching
It was once in the bleachers I used to go cheer
But no more can I stand to watch or to hope for
A team that plays badly with no better chance near

“Oh, swing the bat slowly and throw the ball lowly
Play the dead march as you carry me along
Take me to the infield, there lay the tarp o’er me
For I’m a White Sox fan and we’ve all been done wrong

“Get six wild pitchers to carry my coffin
Six stone-handed fielders to bear up my pall
Put torn-up scorecards all over my coffin
Put scorecards atop me to tell of the fall

“Then swing the bat slowly and throw the ball lowly
And give a wild whoop as you carry me along
And by the mound throw me and roll the tarp o’er me
For I’m a White Sox fan and we’ve all been done wrong

“Go bring me a cup of overpriced beer
To cool my parched lips,” the Sox fan then said
Before I returned his fandom had departed
And was gone for forever, his spirit was dead

We swung the bat slowly and threw the ball lowly
And bitterly wept as we bore him along
For we’d all loved the White Sox, we’d all joined him cheering
We’d all loved the White Sox, and we’d all been done wrong.