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Bird App Recap: Blue Jays down White Sox, 5-2

Further down the spiral ...

In a test of newfound baseball allegiances, our Chicago White Sox (7-15, fourth in the AL Central) take on my new love, the Toronto Blue Jays (13-9, fourth in the AL East). On the mound for the Pale Hose is our Big Beautiful Bastard Lance Lynn, 0-2 with a 7.59 ERA. For the Jays, former White Sox hurler Chris Bassitt, he of a 2-2 record and a 5.40 ERA.

Here is how Pedro Grifol lines them up tonight:

The Sox head north of the border fresh off of being swept at the hands of the Tampa Bay Rays at the Trop, while the Jays return home to newly renovated Rogers Centre after taking two of three from the Yankees in the Bronx. Toronto is 4-2 at home while the Sox are 4-9 on the road. Let’s see if the Pale Hole can manage to not lose in embarrassing fashion tonight!

In news I can’t honestly say is good or bad, Mr. “By the end of the season you’ll love him” Joe Kelly returns from the 15-day IL, adding a fresh arm to Chicago’s beleaguered bullpen.

A bit of good news for a change:

Help on the way soon? Will it be enough? Will it even matter?

Lets get to the hot Tweet action!

A little touch of nostalgia to start us off:

I wasn’t born yet, but it sure feels like the last time White Sox were good was that long ago …

And speaking of nostalgia:

And away we go!

Pregame vibes were on point today.

Luis Robert starting us off on the right foot ...


I did indeed hear that correctly. The word inept feels inadequate when describing the offensive futility ...

Indeed it was ...

Perfect gif usage to describe the top of the first …

Lance Lynn came out hot, retiring the Jays in order and striking out Varsho on a nasty cutter.

Sox go 1-2-3 in the second.

Those Canadians, so kind to say nice things about this dreck.

After looking brutal in his first at bat, Robert walked with two outs.

White Sox did a thing! A lead!

Is this that thing people call a positive?

Speaking of positives:

About that White Sox lead ...

Answer, no, no they will not.

You’re not alone there …

Yes, 2-2 will likely be the high-water mark …

It’s a 1-2-3 inning for Lynn in the fifth. Decent bounce-back inning. The bats, however ...

No such luck.

One bad inning. Feels like every single game for this rotation.

When you’re bad, we have time to think up these wonderful matchups.


Around the seventh inning, fan apathy started setting in.


Further down the spiral!


If a tree falls in the woods …

This is all we can hope for at this point.

If not him, someone sure did.

Only if it were so ...

When we have no hope for a win, this is what we root for.

It tracks.

Evergreen question.

You might just be onto something there ...

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