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Bird App Recap: White Sox 3, Astros 1

Luis Robert Jr. is the entire offense, but don’t be offended by it

By Jordan Hass
/ new

Welcome to Game 41 of the White Sox season, where all there is, is disappointment. I’m your host of this awful, awful ride tonight, so let’s get into the suckage.

The lineup, after a last-minute Yasmani Grandal replacement, looks like this:

The Astros lineup looks like this (and definitely looks better than ours):

Baseball moments that make you go aww ...

The fans still appreciate José Abreu, as well.

Dylan Cease did not have an efficient first inning, but the game is thankfully still scoreless.

Tim Anderson hits a deep fly ball that gets blown back in the park, takes his time watching it, and slides past second base and is tagged out on what should have been a stand-up double.

We hope that, too, but probably not.

Cease has a relatively uneventful second inning, but Yoán Moncada starts the bottom half with the double TA should have had in the first.

Gavin Sheets hits a ball that the wind takes out of Jake Meyers’ glove to put runners on first and third. Nothing comes of it, as for what must be the thousandth time in the last two years runners are left on base with no runs scored.

Gavin Sheets starts out the third with a grab that sent him into the netting.

The bottom half of the inning goes almost exactly the same as the second, only this time the futility ends with a double play.

If you think the White Sox front office is competent in any way, you’re probably wrong

Luis Robert Jr. absolutely clobbers a ball in the bottom of the fourth to make it 1-0, Sox.

Hopefully someone can actually hit 20 home runs this year (it won’t matter when they lose 90 games, though).

Dylan Cease has thrown a lot of pitches so far, but he’s also got a shutout going, so it’s hard to complain about his performance

Andrew Benintendi hits a ball to left that puts him and Tim Anderson on second and third, but the other Andrew (Vaughn), pops up with a 3-0 count to end another inning with runners in scoring position.

Dylan Cease strikes out Yordan Álvarez with a beautiful slider on the corner in the top of the sixth.

Pedro Grifol has finally learned his lesson, and Reynaldo López comes in for Dylan Cease in the seventh.

The Sox need to go back to the old ways.

TA and Hanser Alberto tried to turn what would have been a nifty double play, but a bang-bang play at first is confirmed by replay to be ... not an out.

An extremely high chopper from Mauricio Dubón, bad communication, and bad defense score a run for the Astros, and the game is tied, 1-1 in the bottom of the seventh.

The White Sox suck ass.

Benintendi walks, steals second and reaches third on the errant throw to second, but once again the White Sox leave a runner on third after Andrew Vaughn strikes out to end the seventh.

Moncada doubles, and Robert Jr. continues to be the only source of offense, driving him in to make it 2-1, Pale Hose, in the bottom of the eighth.

A Seby Zavala blooper with two outs drives in Luis and makes it 3-1.

SHHHHHH don’t jinx it.

Kendall Graveman comes on in the ninth for his second save of the season.

Luis Robert Jr., the everyman of the team, makes a great sliding catch to end the game, and the White Sox actually win a game in a not terribly infuriating manner. Doesn’t change the fact that they are 14-27 on the season, but hey, it was somewhat exciting.

Maybe the White Sox made the correct choice?

Player of the Month incoming?

Teammates, and countrymen, taking the charge for the Sox.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we’re barely better than the A’s, who might as well be losing on purpose.

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