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Misery loves company, and baseball is no exception. These days, being a White Sox fan is like staying at a job you hate because the health insurance includes dental, even though you haven’t been to the dentist in six years. Just make the damn appointment already, Dennis.
Luckily, a comically abysmal .388 winning percentage puts the club a mere seven games out of first place, a surmountable goal at this point in the season. As of writing this, the first-place Minnesota Twins, now only two games better than .500, would be in last place if they were in the AL East.
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Yesterday’s game in Cleveland ended the first winning streak this season that resulted in a series sweep for the South Siders, but the loss is no nail in the coffin. Because both teams faced during this road trip are also in the AL Central, the White Sox need only play barely mediocre baseball to win both series. With Cleveland’s injuries and subpar everything, and Detroit’s Little League spirit led by despised resident shitseeker AJ Hinch, White Sox wins are in the bag if the team can manage to not play like, well, the White Sox.
MLB standings.
— Josh S. (@jjskck) May 21, 2023
4 of the 5 worst teams in the AL are in the Central.
The only decent team (Twins) would be tied for last in the East.
If you added the Royals to any NL division, they would be in last place by at least 6 games. pic.twitter.com/jscAOZkJXq
“But Di,” you think, “sweeping a last-place team with a .292 winning percentage isn’t the accomplishment you think it is.” That’s a great point, reader. At this time, however, I’m going to take what I can get. I know I mentioned settling earlier, but it has to be said that at least the White Sox aren’t as bad as the Royals.
Like any sane, non-idealistic White Sox realist, you’re probably over not winning. It’s likely that you feel a frustrated isolation in your brooding about the team, but I’m here to bring good news: You’re not alone. Every team in the AL Central slobs a fat knob, and all fans are exhausted. So, please enjoy a compilation of disgruntled tweets from an array of fans from division opponent teams, in descending order.
Minnesota Twins, First Place, .532 winning percentage
What’s the Twins’ most annoying flaw?
— Buxton⚾️⚾️Blonde (@triumphsofnat) May 21, 2023
•batting average with men in scoring position
•hitting into double plays
•clock violations
(not counting injuries because, unlike the above, honestly do not believe are costing us games)
The 2023 Minnesota Twins have an expected W/L record of 28-19.
— Andrew Luedtke (@andluedtke) May 22, 2023
Their actual record is 25-22. Their -3 expected wins is 3rd “unluckiest” in MLB.
4-9 in 1-run games.
Last year, they had -4 wins. It’s not bad luck. They straight up refuse to win close games.
It’s a problem.
That’s enough for watching twins baseball for me until they learn how to play the game and hit the ball
— Tony Stang (@Jabroni65) May 23, 2023
Dear Minnesota Twins,
— degen trav (@Bettin_Brooks16) May 23, 2023
Suck less https://t.co/eFtpfX4xs5
anyone who can throw a ball with their left hand vs the minnesota twins pic.twitter.com/I0iQgKvFtL
— himmy johns (@MVPrielipp) May 20, 2023
The Minnesota Twins are 5-43 with the bases loaded this year. #MNTwins pic.twitter.com/zTJW55dwN8
— Thuuuuney (@thuuuuney) May 21, 2023
Detroit Tigers, Second Place, .455 winning percentage
We suck again
— tiger baseball brings me pain (@tigers_town) May 23, 2023
No team worse than the Tigers when the bases are loaded
— The Tigers Suck (@the_tigers_suck) May 21, 2023
I would bet my wife (that I don’t have) and unborn child that the Tigers get back to .500 this week. The Pirates and Nats suck respectfully
— Caleb (@calebczarnik) May 15, 2023
It’s just so easy to forget what cellar dwellers the Tigers are when they’re hot against other bottom feeders
— The Tigers Suck (@the_tigers_suck) May 13, 2023
Is “playoff team” a team that makes the playoff, or can actually win a series there? The Tigers could win this awful division, but they get shut down. The exact same statement holds for the Twins, and possibly CLE. We can check back in on this in July, but the division sucks.
— B.B.Gunn (@bb_gun_8) May 15, 2023
Cleveland Guardians, Third Place, .447 winning percentage
The Guardians suck. The positivity is over
— Will Burge (@WillBurge) May 22, 2023
The #Guardians are literally unwatchable right now. I never thought I'd say that, but this team sucks. Offense, defense, pitching. I guess it's just another year in the life of being a Cleveland sports fan.
— Brian Shanower (@bshan_16) May 22, 2023
"This team sucks," - @NickPaulus is over it with the Guardians right now.
— ESPN Cleveland (@ESPNCleveland) May 22, 2023
Do you feel the same way? pic.twitter.com/bPB9973Dl9
I have been asked to release a statement on the state of the Cleveland Guardians. So, here it is: they suck.
— DPaulz (@paulsey9) May 22, 2023
Guardians suck this year, all that magic from last year is nowhere to be found. Bummer, gonna be a long summer at the bottom of the central.
— Mark Adams (@ButlerAlumni02) May 20, 2023
It’s not even the offensive issues that bug me with the Guardians.
— Michael Keefe (@GarageBeersMike) May 20, 2023
The defense inexplicably sucks. The bullpen is trash. The fundamentals are gone.
Everything about this team right now is super frustrating. #ForTheLand
The Cleveland Guardians are the worst team in baseball.
— Ryan Katz (@moshpitmagic) May 21, 2023
I don’t care about records. I don’t care about standings.
They are the worst team in baseball.
This really sucks.
Kansas City Royals, last place, .292 winning percentage
Brady Singer officially sucks which means the worst organization in baseball ( @Royals ) have managed to ruin another promising prospect. Bobby Witt Jr is next….wait ..he already sucks too.
— Scott Kiesling (@scottopks) May 23, 2023
The royals suck at baseball pic.twitter.com/1plm5mJNa5
— Rodney White (@Rodney1904) May 17, 2023
Bad: the royals suck
— smugdingus (@smugdingus) May 17, 2023
Worse: nobody cares
#Royals the worst team in the worst division in baseball. https://t.co/VTbNfSny3z
— taco salazar (@tacosalazars) May 22, 2023
Perez talking shit while on the worst team in baseball to the 3rd worst team in baseball is so Royals
— Austin Guy (@Dzikhead) May 20, 2023
And finally, as a palette cleanser, here is some toxic White Sox positivity for your Tuesday.
Joe Kelly has been on a tear lately. pic.twitter.com/YUa0SCNoT6
— Chicago White Sox (@whitesox) May 22, 2023
After a very tumultuous start, the White Sox bullpen rankings since May 1st
— ⚫️ ⚪️ (@wsxmatt) May 22, 2023
3.02 ERA (4th)
0.67 HR/9 (5th)
3.50 FIP (7th)
70 ERA- (4th)
.214 BA (4th)
21.5 Hard% (1st) (Woah!)
21.5 Soft% (2nd)
49% GB% (T-5th)
Kelly-Graveman-Keynan have combined for 21.3 IP, 6 Hits, 0 ER pic.twitter.com/IhnHRuY3oy
I've been reading tweets about how White Sox fans shouldn't get excited until we're over .500, but that contradicts the "take it one day at a time" outlook because they've been winning, and winning is exciting. Guys are breaking out of slumps. It's great to watch. #WhiteSox pic.twitter.com/SJByzYaESF
— Dos Can Sox (@DosCanSox) May 22, 2023
#WhiteSox pitcher Michael Kopech: "I feel like the darkest days are behind us. That being said, we are not quite out of it there, we still are quite a few games below .500 and we have to work out way back. But also it isn't the record as much as our division." pic.twitter.com/10jrDgy9ng
— Drew Bogs (@DrewBogs623) May 22, 2023
19-30 just like the Nationals in 2019. The #WhiteSox got the rest of the league right where they want them! pic.twitter.com/WDcTkjI3nL
— SELL THE WHITE SOX (@HashTagWhiteSox) May 23, 2023
The White Sox began the season 7-21, including a ten game losing streak.
— Duke Coughlin (@ThatPodGuyDuke) May 21, 2023
Since they broke that losing streak against the Tampa Bay Rays, they have gone 12-8. That includes three division series wins.
It hasn't been perfect, but this team finally has a pulse. pic.twitter.com/aZGBOEdfpO
As for me, I haven’t given up hope yet, but if you have, it’s understandable. Just don’t be surprised if the warm weather brings hot bats, and many more White Sox wins.
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