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MLB: MAY 16 Guardians at White Sox
From the bench to the trench(coat), Luis Robert Jr. is expected to rise up to mediocrity with the rest of the White Sox.
Melissa Tamez/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

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Is the AL Central so bad that the White Sox can win it?

This division’s bar is so low, it’s in hell

Misery loves company, and baseball is no exception. These days, being a White Sox fan is like staying at a job you hate because the health insurance includes dental, even though you haven’t been to the dentist in six years. Just make the damn appointment already, Dennis.

Luckily, a comically abysmal .388 winning percentage puts the club a mere seven games out of first place, a surmountable goal at this point in the season. As of writing this, the first-place Minnesota Twins, now only two games better than .500, would be in last place if they were in the AL East.

Yesterday’s game in Cleveland ended the first winning streak this season that resulted in a series sweep for the South Siders, but the loss is no nail in the coffin. Because both teams faced during this road trip are also in the AL Central, the White Sox need only play barely mediocre baseball to win both series. With Cleveland’s injuries and subpar everything, and Detroit’s Little League spirit led by despised resident shitseeker AJ Hinch, White Sox wins are in the bag if the team can manage to not play like, well, the White Sox.

“But Di,” you think, “sweeping a last-place team with a .292 winning percentage isn’t the accomplishment you think it is.” That’s a great point, reader. At this time, however, I’m going to take what I can get. I know I mentioned settling earlier, but it has to be said that at least the White Sox aren’t as bad as the Royals.

Like any sane, non-idealistic White Sox realist, you’re probably over not winning. It’s likely that you feel a frustrated isolation in your brooding about the team, but I’m here to bring good news: You’re not alone. Every team in the AL Central slobs a fat knob, and all fans are exhausted. So, please enjoy a compilation of disgruntled tweets from an array of fans from division opponent teams, in descending order.

Minnesota Twins, First Place, .532 winning percentage

Detroit Tigers, Second Place, .455 winning percentage

Cleveland Guardians, Third Place, .447 winning percentage

Kansas City Royals, last place, .292 winning percentage

And finally, as a palette cleanser, here is some toxic White Sox positivity for your Tuesday.

As for me, I haven’t given up hope yet, but if you have, it’s understandable. Just don’t be surprised if the warm weather brings hot bats, and many more White Sox wins.


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