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Bird App Recap: Boring and Bad

[insert vomit emojis here]

After a dismal and disappointing West Coast swing, your Chicago White Sox return home to take on the AL West’s best, the Texas Rangers. Texas comes in at 44 up and 27 down, tied for the third-best record in all of baseball. While the South Siders, well, after back-to-back series losses out west ... the less said about them the better at this point.

Here’s how Pedro lines them up on this lovely Monday evening on the South Side:

On the bump for the Rangers is lefty Andrew Heaney (4-4, 4.05 ERA, 1.32 WHIP), and for the Pale Hose, Tanner Banks (0-1, 3.86 ERA, 0.94 WHIP) makes his first career start.

The Sox made a few roster moves early today:

Welcome to the show, Popeye!

Lets get to the hot tweet action, shall we?

I blink and its 1-0, Texas.

Wise choice.

He’s ... just not good out there.

Speaking of not good, Clint Frazier misread a ball and plays it into a triple ...

At least there is Jake Burger:

Burger stranded at second, because of course ...

Top third, and quickly 2-0 ...

Ain’t that the truth.

Banks out, Padilla in, and it’s quickly 3-0 ...

Who even knows.

If it’s not the pitching, it’s the horrid defense.

Sox fan jumping ship early, and who can blame them?

Meanwhile, the Sox offense is still missing in action ...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...


Speaking of:

White Sox hitters finally show a pulse!


Back-to-back jacks!!

Sox bats giveth, Sox pen giveth right back. All too familiar ...

Sox load the bases in the eighth, and you can imagine what happened.

You are correct, sir!

Sox do nothing, as predictable as always.

Two on and nobody out in the bottom of the ninth ...

You weren’t wrong ...

I mean ...

And with a whimper, the Sox drop yet another game in which they barely look like competent baseball players, let alone a formidable squad capable of making a run ...

If only ...


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