As we head toward the decision time of the trade deadline, SSS duty geezer Leigh Allan and his son and west coast correspondent, Will, ask the musical question, “Is there anything at any level that the White Sox do well, or at least adequately?” (Spoiler alert: We didn’t include groundscrew, batboys or ballgirls in the evaluation, so you may already know the answer.)
Then there’s the follow-up musical question, “Is there anybody the White Sox shouldn’t try to trade at the deadline?” (Spoiler alert: See spoiler alert above.)
(Corollary, which we neglected to discuss: Is it possible to hire James Click as a consultant with veto power for the trading period, so decisions aren’t left up to the three stooges?)
Then there’s, “Is there any statistic that shows the White Sox as a team are even average, or close to it?” (Spoiler alert: This is meant as a joke. You definitely know the answer.)
But then we get to the real issue that will confront a few AL teams in September — if you know you have a Wild Card spot, how far should you go to make sure you lose enough to be the sixth seed and get to play whatever team slogs through the pathetic AAAL Central so you get a sure first-round victory? Suggestions include have batters hit from the opposite side of the plate, have pitchers throw underhand, and have fielders leave their mitts in the dugout, but you may have better ideas.
Not that we’re feeling at all down, or anything like that.
Listen below, on our built-in Megaphone player: