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Bird App Recap: Sox rocked by Rox

Go West, young man, go West. There is health in the country, and room away from our crowds of idlers and imbeciles ...


Your 48-73 Chicago White Sox head west to the Centennial State, to take on the 46-75 Colorado Rockies in the Mile High City. I just know you had this late August 7:40 PM CT game circled on your calendars Sox fans, don’t even lie! I mean, what could be better than watching two utterly forgettable teams with a combined 94-148 record play baseball in an idyllic backdrop, with a start time just late enough that you’ve likely already found something else to spend your evening doing and/or watching? Oh Yeah!

If you just can’t help but tune in, you are in for some excitement! The Sox come in with a 23-40 road record and will face a Rockies team that is 26-32 at Coors Field. Want more excitement? Look no further than the pitching matchup in this one. On the mound for the visiting Pale Hose, Michael Kopech, he of a 5-10 record, and 4.58 ERA and 1.46 WHIP. And for the opposition, the first of many names with whom I will be completely unfamiliar this series, one Peter Lambert (2-4, 5.46 ERA, 1.43 WHIP) takes the hill for the home team.

Since you’re not brimming with enough excitement yet, here’s Pedro’s mind-numbing lineup on this Friday evening:

In case you missed it, Tim Anderson will serve a reduced suspension of five games starting with tonight’s affair in Denver.

TA posted this on his Instagram yesterday:

TA’s apology post boxing match.
@seven | Instagram

While some fans are ready to write him off and cast him aside, I applaud this statement and Tim’s desire to rise above the noise.

In roster news, the Big Baby had a baby! Congrats to the new papa!

In team-related news, McLellan Elementary School in Bridgeport was recently renamed after Hall of Famer and Sox legend Minnie Miñoso.

What a wonderful way to honor Minnie!

Liam Hendriks might be out for the season, but he keeps being an awesome and awe-inspiring human off the field:

Let's get to the tweets, shall we?

Everybody’s favorite Elvis leads off the game with a first-pitch solo shot!

After a five-pitch walk to Charlie Blackmon, Ezequiel Tovar crushes a hanging slider deep to left.

Four straight Rockies reach base and it's quickly 5-1.

Seven batters come to the plate before Kopech records an out, and Sox fans are ready to change the channel ...

And some are ready to jump ship.

Because you just have to laugh at this point.

You aren’t alone there friend ...

That’s one way to ease the pain.

Kopech seemed to settle down for a spell, until:


I hope they bet the over ...

Great fucking questions.

Kopech’s night is mercifully over in the fifth ...

Couldn’t be my favorite team. Nope.

The only standings that really matter at this point ...

Haha, at least I’m not the only one who didn’t know ...

Wisest tweet of the night.

And yet they say they want to compete next year too ...

This tweet was not about the White Sox, yet ever so fitting.

Ain't that the truth?

Sox lose 14-1. This one was UGLY.


Who had the best tweet on the night?

This poll is closed

  • 8%
    @TimMurr82677379 - We Suck!
    (2 votes)
  • 20%
    @EllaJay912 - Read a book instead
    (5 votes)
  • 4%
    @TadahitoUribe - Taking care of business
    (1 vote)
  • 8%
    @shure_michael - over/under on homers
    (2 votes)
  • 12%
    @liddle_ktina - becoming a Reds fan
    (3 votes)
  • 45%
    @mmaxwelljr - I hate this team
    (11 votes)
24 votes total Vote Now