Bird App Recap: Nationals 13, White Sox 3

The White Sox wrapped up their three-game set in Washington, DC, this afternoon against the Nationals. Here’s how the bad managers sent them out there for the rubber match.

Yikes, that last third of the lineup.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen the word “sweatieys.” Whatever. This baseball is meaningless.

The Good Guys went down 1-2-3 in the first, and it was time to see the opener version of Michael Kopech. Well, it wasn’t pretty. A double and hit by pitch; one might even call it chaotic.

And thanks to another defensive miscue by Tim Anderson, the Nationals took a quick 1-0 lead.

There are literally like 10 people watching this game. I mean, I wouldn’t be either if I didn’t have to, so I get it.

The Pale Hose managed to knot things up in the top of the second after a Yoán Moncada walk, double from Andrew Vaughn, and sacrifice fly by Lenyn Sosa.

Kopech’s opener status ended after one lonely inning, and lefty Tanner Banks was next up. He absolutely melted down and, in the blink of an eye and the boot of a ball by Moncada, surrendered three runs (two earned) in only one-third of an inning.

Me, too, Vance. Me, too.

Enter Jesse Scholtens. The rookie tightened the tourniquet, stopped the bleeding, and got the final two outs. The Sox used three guys who can start to get nine outs. Makes sense.

Then, of course, Scholtens, too, melted down in the third, giving up a grand salami to Lane Thomas and making it 8-1, Nationals. It was the seventh grand slam surrendered by White Sox pitching in 2023.

Chicago had the bases loaded with two outs in the top of the fourth but couldn’t do anything with it; shocker, I know.

Washington picked up two more to add to the slaughter in their half of the frame.

Pedro Grifol finally put Scholtens out of his misery with one out in the fourth and handed the ball to Deivi García, who finished the inning without further damage.

But fear not, García took part in the baseball massacre in the bottom of the fifth, when Joey Meneses tattooed a two-run blast to left field and padded the Nats lead to 12-1.

Things were quiet until the top of the eighth when the South Siders loaded the bases again, but they executed a few runs this time. Not that it really mattered. Honestly, it’s the race to 100 losses that really counts.

Side note — the Bears seem to be doing their best White Sox impersonation. We feel your pain, friends.

OK, I guess there were still a few more outs to cover. Lane Ramsey hit the bump for the bottom of the eighth, decided that he couldn’t be left out of the run-giving party, and contributed one to the total, pushing the Nationals ahead again by 10.

Praise be, the game finally did come to an end. In case anyone cares, there will be more baseball this weekend, as the Sox take on Boston for a three-game set. Until next time, I’ll leave you with this final thought: